A sign of the times

[Snoopy]

[Barman]

 

I was going to edit it and change it to banker... but I couldn't work out how to do it... 

[Snoopy]

You wanna bank joke?

Einstein dies and goes to heaven only to be informed that his room is not yet ready. "I hope you will not mind waiting in a dormitory. We are very sorry, but it's the best we can do and you will have to share the room with others" he is told by the doorman.

Einstein says that this is no problem at all and that there is no need to make such a great fuss. So the doorman leads him to the dorm. They enter and Albert is introduced to all of the present inhabitants. "See, Here is your first room mate. He has an IQ of 180!"
"That's wonderful!" says Albert. "We can discuss mathematics!"

"And here is your second room mate. His IQ is 150!"
"That's wonderful!" says Albert. "We can discuss physics!"

"And here is your third room mate. His IQ is 100!"
"That's wonderful! We can discuss the latest plays at the theater!"

Just then another man moves out to capture Albert's hand and shake it. "I'm your last room mate and I'm sorry, but my IQ is only 80."
Albert smiles back at him and says, "So, where do you think interest rates are headed?"

[Barman]

You wanna bank joke?

Einstein dies and goes to heaven only to be informed that his room is not yet ready. "I hope you will not mind waiting in a dormitory. We are very sorry, but it's the best we can do and you will have to share the room with others" he is told by the doorman.

Einstein says that this is no problem at all and that there is no need to make such a great fuss. So the doorman leads him to the dorm. They enter and Albert is introduced to all of the present inhabitants. "See, Here is your first room mate. He has an IQ of 180!"
"That's wonderful!" says Albert. "We can discuss mathematics!"

"And here is your second room mate. His IQ is 150!"
"That's wonderful!" says Albert. "We can discuss physics!"

"And here is your third room mate. His IQ is 100!"
"That's wonderful! We can discuss the latest plays at the theater!"

Just then another man moves out to capture Albert's hand and shake it. "I'm your last room mate and I'm sorry, but my IQ is only 80."
Albert smiles back at him and says, "So, where do you think interest rates are headed?"

 

[Snoopy]

And on the subject of banking;

Little Johnny was being questioned by the teacher during an arithmetic lesson. 'If you had ten pounds,' said the teacher, 'and I asked you for a loan of eight pounds, how much would you have left?'
'Ten,' said Little Johnny firmly.
'Ten?' the teacher said 'How do you make it ten?'
'Well,' replied Little Johnny 'You may ask for a loan of eight pounds, but that doesn't mean you'll get it!'


PS Little Johnny went on to be a successful banker

[Grumpmeister]

An elderly lady receives an e-mail from the son of a deceased (but wealthy) African general, asking whether he could transfer millions of pounds into her bank account in return for a 20% cut. All the son needs is the sort code and account number. Not realising she is the victim of a Nigerian 419 fraud, she e-mails back the details. A couple of minutes later she receives an e-mail back from the general's son: 'Icesave?!' What is this, some sort of scam?"

[Uncle Mort]

How do you define optimism? A banker who irons five shirts on a Sunday.

[Barman]

 

[Barman]

Bradford & Bingley employees are concerned they were given no notice of the takeover by Santander Bank.
A Government spokesman said: 'No one expected the Spanish acquisition.'

I talked to my bank manager the other day and he said he was going to concentrate on the big issues from now on.
He sold me one outside Boots yesterday.

[Barman]

Latest news: The Isle of Dogs bank has collapsed. They've called in the retrievers.