A plane leaves Los Angeles airport under the control of a Jewish captain.
His co-pilot is Chinese. It's the first time they've flown together, and an awkward silence between the two seems to indicate a mutual dislike.
Once they reach cruising altitude, the Jewish captain activates the auto-pilot, leans back in his seat, and mutters, 'I don't like Chinese.'
'No rike Chinese?' asks the co-pilot, '....why not?'
'You people bombed Pearl Harbour, that's why!'
'No, no,' the co-pilot protests, 'Chinese not bomb Peahl Hahbah! That Japanese, not Chinese.'
'Japanese, Chinese, Vietnamese... Doesn't matter, you're all alike!'
There's a few minutes of silence.
'I no rike Jews either!' the co-pilot suddenly announces.
'Oh yeah, why not?' asks the captain.
'Jews sink Titanic.'
'What? That's insane! Jews didn't sink the Titanic!' exclaims the captain, 'It was an iceberg!'
'Iceberg, Goldberg, Greenberg, Rosenberg, ...no mattah... All same!
A guy was playing golf one day and he got lost. He saw a lady up ahead of him and went to her and said 'Can you please help me, I don't know what hole I'm on.'
She told him 'You are one hole behind me. I'm on 7; you're on 6.' He thanked her and continued playing golf. On the back nine he got lost again.
He saw the same lady and went to her again kind of embarrassed. 'I'm sorry to bother you again but I'm lost again, can you please tell me what hole I'm on.' She told him 'You are one hole behind me. I'm on 14; you are on 13.' Again he thanked her and continued playing golf.
When he finished he saw her in the clubhouse. He went up to her and asked if he could buy her a drink for helping him out. She accepted. As they were drinking and talking he asked her what she did for a living.
'I'm in sales.
He replied 'no kidding so am I. What do you sell?'
She said it's too embarrassing to tell. But after he kept pleading to know what she sold she said she'd tell him if he promised not to laugh.
He promised. She said, 'I sell tampons'.
He immediately fell to the floor laughing hysterically.
She said, 'You promised you wouldn't laugh'.
He replied 'I'm sorry, but I couldn't help it. I sell toilet paper. I'm still one hole behind you.'
