Disgusterous

Author Topic: Celibacy  (Read 1259 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline Nick

  • Needs to get out more...
  • ******
  • Posts: 109299
  • Reputation: -115
Celibacy
« on: September 14, 2008, 09:48:46 AM »
Many aspects of human sexuality are very puzzling.  Take celibacy.

This can be a choice, or a condition imposed by environmental factors.

While attending a Marriage Awareness Weekend, Robert and Mary listened
to the instructor declare,

'It is essential that husbands and wives know the things that are
important to each other.'

He addressed the men.  'Can you each name your wife's favourite flower?'

Robert leaned over, touched Mary's arm gently and whispered,

'Self raising, isn't it?'

Thus began Robert's life of celibacy.

Warning: May contain Skub
Cat sitter extraordinaire
Semi-professional crocodile

Offline Barman

  • Administrator
  • Needs to get out more...
  • *****
  • Posts: 154174
  • Reputation: -50
  • Since 1960...
    • Virtual Pub!
Re: Celibacy
« Reply #1 on: September 14, 2008, 09:56:17 AM »
 ;D

Mornin' Nick....
Pro Skub  Thumbs:

Offline Nick

  • Needs to get out more...
  • ******
  • Posts: 109299
  • Reputation: -115
Re: Celibacy
« Reply #2 on: September 14, 2008, 09:58:21 AM »
Bongiorno Baldymort.

What fun we had with that sofa last night! We had to use ropes in the end
Warning: May contain Skub
Cat sitter extraordinaire
Semi-professional crocodile

Offline Barman

  • Administrator
  • Needs to get out more...
  • *****
  • Posts: 154174
  • Reputation: -50
  • Since 1960...
    • Virtual Pub!
Re: Celibacy
« Reply #3 on: September 14, 2008, 10:05:42 AM »
Bongiorno Baldymort.

What fun we had with that sofa last night! We had to use ropes in the end
What sofa...?  rubschin:

I dropped LL off at the airport at 10:30 last night... she took off at 6am this morning... Not a happy LL...  noooo:
Pro Skub  Thumbs:

Offline Nick

  • Needs to get out more...
  • ******
  • Posts: 109299
  • Reputation: -115
Re: Celibacy
« Reply #4 on: September 14, 2008, 10:10:02 AM »
I hate airport nights like that  noooo:

Sofa? Long story.
Warning: May contain Skub
Cat sitter extraordinaire
Semi-professional crocodile

Offline Snoopy

  • Administrator
  • Power Poster
  • *****
  • Posts: 54191
  • Reputation: 0
  • In the Prime of Senility
Re: Celibacy
« Reply #5 on: September 14, 2008, 10:37:14 AM »






Well?
I used to have a handle on life but it broke.

Offline Nick

  • Needs to get out more...
  • ******
  • Posts: 109299
  • Reputation: -115
Re: Celibacy
« Reply #6 on: September 14, 2008, 10:39:54 AM »
Neighbours still trying to get their new sofa into their house.

Thus.

1. Drag  it out of their front door and up the steps to ours.
2. Into hallway
3. Up half flight of stairs
4. Turn
5. Up next half flight of stairs
6. Through living room (ours)
7.Out of door onto balcony
8. Manouevre round tricky corners and carry along front of house at first floor level.
9.Crowd of jeering spectators gather
10. Into their balcony level door

It took us an hour  noooo:
Warning: May contain Skub
Cat sitter extraordinaire
Semi-professional crocodile

Offline Snoopy

  • Administrator
  • Power Poster
  • *****
  • Posts: 54191
  • Reputation: 0
  • In the Prime of Senility
Re: Celibacy
« Reply #7 on: September 14, 2008, 10:43:07 AM »
Shouldda employed professionals  whistle:

Doing jobs like that "on the cheap" is never the right answer. I speak from bitter experience. noooo:
I used to have a handle on life but it broke.

Offline Nick

  • Needs to get out more...
  • ******
  • Posts: 109299
  • Reputation: -115
Re: Celibacy
« Reply #8 on: September 14, 2008, 10:49:27 AM »
The professionals had refused to do it!

Fortunately my back isn't what it was, so I just shouted encouragement  ;D
Warning: May contain Skub
Cat sitter extraordinaire
Semi-professional crocodile

Offline Snoopy

  • Administrator
  • Power Poster
  • *****
  • Posts: 54191
  • Reputation: 0
  • In the Prime of Senility
Re: Celibacy
« Reply #9 on: September 14, 2008, 10:54:59 AM »
Pickfords will do anything for money as I found when I wanted stuff moved into an "above the shop" flat in Southampton many, many years ago. More recently I engaged a removal company to shift an upright piano from the Church Hall (opposite) into the front room. They made it look easy despite a double front door that is offset which had prevented the usual crew from the pub doing the job for a pint each.

Anyway they open in 5 minutes so I'm orf. Back later I 'spect.
I used to have a handle on life but it broke.

Offline Barman

  • Administrator
  • Needs to get out more...
  • *****
  • Posts: 154174
  • Reputation: -50
  • Since 1960...
    • Virtual Pub!
Re: Celibacy
« Reply #10 on: September 14, 2008, 11:29:56 AM »
I hate airport nights like that  noooo:

Sofa? Long story.
I spent a long, long night at Lagos airport many years ago waiting for a British Caledonian flight...  scared2:
Pro Skub  Thumbs:


Offline Snoopy

  • Administrator
  • Power Poster
  • *****
  • Posts: 54191
  • Reputation: 0
  • In the Prime of Senility
Re: Celibacy
« Reply #12 on: September 14, 2008, 06:36:20 PM »
Shouldda flown RAF old boy.





No need to turn left or right when you board ~ same service for all passengers  whistle:




Room for all but no toilets

I used to have a handle on life but it broke.

Offline Nick

  • Needs to get out more...
  • ******
  • Posts: 109299
  • Reputation: -115
Re: Celibacy
« Reply #13 on: September 14, 2008, 06:53:30 PM »
Ah yes, Dan Air!
Warning: May contain Skub
Cat sitter extraordinaire
Semi-professional crocodile

Offline Snoopy

  • Administrator
  • Power Poster
  • *****
  • Posts: 54191
  • Reputation: 0
  • In the Prime of Senility
Re: Celibacy
« Reply #14 on: September 15, 2008, 06:26:52 AM »
Dan Dare was based at Lasham. We only used to service their crates (at a cost) ~ Happy memories cloud9:
I used to have a handle on life but it broke.