From the Mail on Sunday
http://www.mailonsunday.co.uk/news/article-1086117/Noddys-Toy-town-creators-granddaughter-pens-new-adventure-mark-60th-birthday.htmlSophie Smallwood has no time for politically correct critics of her grandmother’s work, but what if the liberal zealots did get their hands on Noddy and his pals? Here, in a tale that would have left Enid Blyton speechless, Sinclair McKay imagines just that. We present the story of Noddy And The Naughty Footprint...
It was a bright sunny day in Toy-Eco-Town. The sun’s rays shone through the correctly insulated windows of a little ‘house-for-one’. Here lived Noddy. He was a little boy made of wood that was ethically sourced and replanted.
Noddy was driving his bright-green electric car through the streets of Toy-Eco-Town at a safe 20mph.
‘Parp parp!’ he hooted happily on his horn, jingling the bell on his blue hat, though he always made sure he did not exceed Toy-Eco-Town’s noise-nuisance levels.
Then, in the pedestrian zone, he saw his best friend, Differently-Sized Ears. His friend looked very red in the face.
‘Noddy, you must help me,’ he said. ‘Mr And Mrs Morbidly Obese Bear have to get to the airport at once.’
‘Fiddlesticks!’ cried Noddy. ‘I will drive them to the railway station instead. What with their dangerous excess weight, imagine the big fat contrails they would leave all over the sky.’
‘Yes,’ said Differently-Sized Ears. ‘But you mustn’t be unkind. They are suffering a serious disorder and we must help to resolve their health issues.’
When Noddy returned from the railway station, he saw Community Support Officer Plod outside his garden gate.
‘There you are, Noddy,’ said Plod. ‘You have been very naughty.’
Noddy gasped. ‘What have I done?’ he cried.
Plod pointed at the garden path. There were three differently coloured bins for non-renewables.
One was red. One was blue. One was yellow. And they were all full of forbidden newspapers, beer cans, and wine bottles!
‘I didn’t fill those!’ protested Noddy.
‘Nonetheless, they are your bins and your responsibility,’ said Plod. ‘So we must take you to see the judge.’
‘This is the naughtiest thing I have ever heard,’ said the judge crossly.
‘You have left the biggest carbon footprint Toy-Eco-Town has ever seen. Noddy, I fine you £10,000.’
Just then, Differently-Sized Ears rushed into the courtroom holding a tiny TV camera.
‘This was in Noddy’s bin,’ he cried. ‘It filmed the real culprits: the wicked goblins Sly and Asbo.
‘It was the goblins who filled his bins. And who also stole the lead drainpipes from my toadstool house.’
‘Silence!’ shouted the judge. ‘Goblins are a proud and legitimate community in their own right who must be protected from racist attacks such as these.’
And Noddy and Differently-Sized Ears had to spend the afternoon in jail!
