Newspaper vendors

[TG]

I'm not talking here about small news kiosks which sell all sorts of papers, mags, mars bars, fags and do a good line of under the counter dwarf porn but those little one man kiosks that sell the local rag and nowt else. Why do the these people have to be so feckin' ulgy?

Walking round town the other day I noticed several of them and they were all manned by the ugliest people imaginable. Is it some kind of pre-requisite for the job?

And not just ugly but HUGE as well, some of them look like they have to be greased up and forced into the bastard kiosk by three other blokes.

And not just ugly and massive but badly dressed and stupid as well.

Round here some of them actually seem to have groupies as well. Huge, ugly, awfully dressed females with foghorn voices which they use to demonstrate a serious shortage of brain cells to all and sundry.

Is just here? Is it a national phenomena?

Still, I suppose I shouldn't be so quick to judge, If I aint got a job in another few months I might have put on fifteen stone, buy myself a packet of lard and a shore horn and wedge myself into a box and sell the local comic to the well heeled as they make their way to sign on.

So, do you have these where you live?

[Nick]

Nottingham was full of them. Likewise Scallypool.

They breed them specially at Porton Down, I hear

[Snoopy]

Can't say we see them in this part of Wales but then we don't have a local daily paper for them to sell. When I lived in Southampton they existed but were, in the main, disabled ex-servicemen. Come to think about it there are plenty in London but they don't fit your description at all ~ at least not those I remember but they do tend to sell more than one local paper there.

[TG]

Can't say we see them in this part of Wales but then we don't have a local daily paper for them to sell. When I lived in Southampton they existed but were, in the main, disabled ex-servicemen. Come to think about it there are plenty in London but they don't fit your description at all ~ at least not those I remember but they do tend to sell more than one local paper there.

Leicester phenomena then? Oh dear. 

If any of our lot were ex-service men the must have been from Sauron's Orc army.

[Uncle Mort]

There's a seller in Fenchurch Street, near the station, who's been there as long as I can remember. Hasn't changed a bit. Looks like an undersized Bobby Moore. 

[Snoopy]

Can't say we see them in this part of Wales but then we don't have a local daily paper for them to sell. When I lived in Southampton they existed but were, in the main, disabled ex-servicemen. Come to think about it there are plenty in London but they don't fit your description at all ~ at least not those I remember but they do tend to sell more than one local paper there.

Leicester phenomena then? Oh dear. 

If any of our lot were ex-service men the must have been from Sauron's Orc army.

I haven't been to Southampton in donkey's years so the memory of ex-servicemen is prolly very out of date. The populace is generally getting fatter, uglier and more shabbily dressed so your local news vendors probably reflect this.

[Nick]

OOh, we haven't has a poll in ages.

Must get thinking

[Barman]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XRSYe3nJUzg

 

[Nick]

Reeves and Mortimer coped them shamelessly. Hence the club singer thing, I guess