May I introduce

[Snoopy]

Laydees an' Gen'l'men ~ I should like you to meet The Honourable Member for Paisley and Refrewshire South Douglas Alexander

It is worthy of mention that Douglas (no doubt "Doogie" to his Scottish pals) is also the Secretary of State for International Development.

In this latter capacity he speaks today on behalf of HM Government on no less a subject that sorting out the mess that is Afghanistan. Interviewed on the Today (or should that be Toady?) programme he has said that we ~ as a nation and as part of the NATO Alliance currently battling for the lives of our soldiers, sailors and airmen in that hell hole called Afghanistan ~ should take heed of the lessons of Northern Ireland and enter into dialogue with "The Taliban". So far so good. In his interview he expressed his desire (and here he is supporting a speech to be made by the Foreign Secretary later today) that during this dialogue (you will remember that the Afghans threw two of our civil servants out a couple of years ago for trying to do exactly this) we should seek to identify those of "The Taliban" who are prepared to "renunciate violence" and offer them our hand in friendship, involve them in the peace process etc.

I believe he actually means that we should talk to those who are prepared to RENOUNCE violence.

What chance is there of Johnny Taliban understanding what we are offering when the b@st@rds offering it can't even speak bloody English? 

Renounce = Give up voluntarily, give up formally

Renunciate = refers to someone who has renounced lay life, generally to pursue ordination or monastic life

Somehow I just don't see your average Afghan warlord shaving his pate and entering a monastery.

Thus far the Toady programme has used the clip of his error 4 times including the trails for and finally the full interview and not one of them has had the balls to pick it up.

I despair.

[Barman]

I despair at him using Northern Ireland as an example of 'doing it right'.... 

For fucks sake, how many died in twenty-five years of violence? 

[Darwins Selection]

I despair at him using Northern Ireland as an example of 'doing it right'.... 

For fucks sake, how many died in twenty-five years of violence? 

True, but they were mostly Micks.

[Barman]

I despair at him using Northern Ireland as an example of 'doing it right'.... 

For fucks sake, how many died in twenty-five years of violence? 

True, but they were mostly Micks.

[Snoopy]

Look at him tho' ~ He should still be at school FFS. I suppose he is there to make Millipede look statesmanslike and older.


Millipede

[Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons)]

Given that we are supposed to be talking to "The Taliban" what are we supposed to say?



'Um excuse me Mr Taliban it's not awfully nice of you to be blowing up our chaps would you be dreadfully nice and desist'.

[Barman]

Given that we are supposed to be talking to "The Taliban" what are we supposed to say?



'Um excuse me Mr Taliban it's not awfully nice of you to be blowing up our chaps would you be dreadfully nice and desist'.

More along the lines of "you win  " I suspect... 

[Snoopy]

Given that we are supposed to be talking to "The Taliban" what are we supposed to say?



'Um excuse me Mr Taliban it's not awfully nice of you to be blowing up our chaps would you be dreadfully nice and desist'.

More along the lines of "you win  " I suspect... 

Exactly wot we did in Nor'n Ireland.

[The Moan Ranger]

Given that we are supposed to be talking to "The Taliban" what are we supposed to say?



'Um excuse me Mr Taliban it's not awfully nice of you to be blowing up our chaps would you be dreadfully nice and desist'.

More along the lines of "you win  " I suspect... 

Exactly wot we did in Nor'n Ireland.

Not sure I agree with that 

[Snoopy]

Oh come on ~ "Let all our people out of jail, no matter how many murders they have committed because they are 'soldiers fighting a war'" and HM Gov rolled over and let them out. "We promise to place our weapons beyond use but we don't want you to see how we do this so trust us" and HM Gov did. "We want a say in government" and HM Gov gave it to them ...... and still the beatings, the knee cappings, the murders, the intimidation, the ordering people out of the country goes on. The only thing that has changed is that the bombing has stopped.

Anyway it was the Foreign Secretary himself who today drew the comparison with "How we handled Northern Ireland" ~ largely forgetting that without John Major and Bill Clinton it would not have happened ~ not me.

Now if it's my opinion you want we should never have gone there when Cromwell was in charge ...... and it was already a bloody mess when he went across. All that followed was predictable ~ just as what is happening in Africa and the Middle East is predictable. It is basic tribalism at its worse and because we (the English in essence) have ended up as a reasonable country, with people who, in the main, get along together and enjoy a reasonably standard of living, half way decent wages, adequate education for our children and we don't all have hang-ups about our religion they all say it's our fault. Not my fault mates, I never laid a hand on an Irishman in anger so why blame me and my kids? BUT they do. Bring our troops out of Ireland has long been my cry but no bugger listened ~ same as they won't listen no matter how loudly I shout bring our boys out of Iraq, Afghanistan and any other bloody country that doesn't want us there. It is not our business. But nobody hears my voice.

[Barman]

Oh come on ~ "Let all our people out of jail, no matter how many murders they have committed because they are 'soldiers fighting a war'" and HM Gov rolled over and let them out. "We promise to place our weapons beyond use but we don't want you to see how we do this so trust us" and HM Gov did. "We want a say in government" and HM Gov gave it to them ...... and still the beatings, the knee cappings, the murders, the intimidation, the ordering people out of the country goes on. The only thing that has changed is that the bombing has stopped.

See also: "disband the RUC", "Continue the bloody Sunday enquiry", etc. 

[Nick]

I see Snoopy omits the Welsh and the Scots for some reason 

[Snoopy]

I see Snoopy omits the Welsh and the Scots for some reason 

That is because none of these troublesome people ever blame the Welsh or the Scots, despite the fact that a great many of our troops are in fact Scots and Welsh as are the donkeys Politicians who order them into the trouble zones.
Strangely, apart from the idiotic amateurish attempt on Glasgow airport, I don't recall any bombs in Cardiff or any other part of Wales. Nor do I recall any other attempts to blow up parts of Scotland. I do remember bombs in London, Brighton, Birmingham, Southampton etc. etc.

No I think you will find the signs, in the main, and the shouted slogans all blame the English. Only comparatively recently have slogans in Ireland referred to "The Brits". Perhaps it is because we have taken to calling ourselves Brits these days ~ certainly never did when I was in the RAF. We always referred to ourselves as UK FORCES or even BAOR (British Army on the Rhine)

[The Moan Ranger]

It was always far more to do with Republicanism vs Unionism than Protestantism vs Roman Catholicism. The stated aim of the republican paramilitaries (and their "political" parties") was a united Ireland. They haven't achieved this, although I agree that releasing the convicted terrorists from either side was an unforgivable insult to those that died at their hands.

No surrender