Sweet and bitter

[GROWLER]

This week marks a couple of milestones for me.

'Me ill'  

I've now reached 2/3rds of me target for the year, climbed the equivalent alltitude of over 2 Everest's from sea level, and walked just over 200 miles. Not bad for a 'gimp' ey?

HOWEVER, I'm still a fat bastard and reckon I haven't lost any weight whatsoever.

OK, so I like me cake   and choccy, ( you may have already known this actually) but I generally eat good grub with lots of fruit and veg.
I smoke me rollies ...not too many, but appreciate that I shouldn't.
 Pack 'em in though, and the pounds will probably pile on even more.

I reckon I'm about 3st+ overweight and that makes me a very unhappy and angry Bear.

Can you just imagine how fat I'd be   if it wasn't for 'me 'ill'?  

What tf have I got to do ey, exactly?

[Barman]

Nothing... enjoy it all... you like the fags don't you - why give them up just because 'they' say so...?

[Nick]

Liposuction. My new hoover might do the trick, like. 

[GROWLER]

Nothing... enjoy it all... you like the fags don't you - why give them up just because 'they' say so...?

Would help me climb up 'me 'ill'   and related big rocky 'umps without coming close to berstin'me lungs and gasping for air if I packed them in problee.
I reckon I could knock at least a minute of me record time going up 'me 'ill'   too if I did.

More concerned about this never ending pregnancy that seems to be haunting me though tbqath.

[GROWLER]

Liposuction. My new hoover might do the trick, like. 

Helpful as ever ey?

[GROWLER]

What really pisses me RIGHT and I mean RIGHT off, is seeing and knowing some THIN lazy bastards that sit around on their fat lazy lardy arses all day and night long, no excercise, filling their rat faces with crisps and McShiteles, and they never put a bass turd pound on.

[Nick]

Nothing... enjoy it all... you like the fags don't you - why give them up just because 'they' say so...?

Would help me climb up 'me 'ill'   and related big rocky 'umps without coming close to berstin'me lungs and gasping for air if I packed them in problee.
I reckon I could knock at least a minute of me record time going up 'me 'ill'   too if I did.

More concerned about this never ending pregnancy that seems to be haunting me though tbqath.
[/quote

A babby 

[Snoopy]

Losing weight is easy ~ particularly for those who have never had a weight problem.


Yes it is a matter of combining the right diet with the right amount of exercise or as one skinny doctor once put it to me "Shut your mouth and go for a walk".

Unfortunately it isn't that simple. As a diabetic they tell me that I have to ensure that every meal contains carbohydrates (Potatoes, Pasta, Rice, Bread or somesuch) How the fvck do you diet when that is the instruction? How indeed do I exercise when I cannot walk 75 yards without medication?

As for the ciggies ..... If you stop you will feel like shite for about a year. Only after that will you actually notice the difference. I had my latest* ciggy something like 15 years ago and I still want another.

Questions: 1) Why are all Hospital dietitians stick thin and about 18 years old?
               2) Why are the majority of nurses so fat they can hardly waddle?
               3) Why do so many doctors smell of cigarette smoke and/or alcohol?



* "Latest" because I fully intend to have another on my 80th birthday (if I live that long)