Author Topic: Re inventing the toilet  (Read 285 times)

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Offline Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons)

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Re inventing the toilet
« on: July 20, 2011, 01:07:51 PM »
Yesterday Bill Gates announced that he is going to reinvent the toilet to help impoverished countries.

For no reason whatsoever, your toilet would flush twice a day.The following is taken from and changed based on the information at MIStupid.com.

Every time you changed the toilet paper, you would have to buy a new toilet.

Occasionally your toilet would die for no reason. You would have to remove all the water, close the door to the bathroom, shut off the lights, unhook any pipes, and reconnect the toilet. For some reason you would simply accept this.

Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a courtesy flush would cause your toilet to stop working. In this case you would have to install a new flapper.

Steve Jobs would make a toilet that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to use - but would fit only five percent of the people.

When you press the flush lever the toilet would ask "Are you sure?" before flushing.

Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your toilet seat would go down, lock you out and refuse to open you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle to the bathroom, turned the key and grabbed hold of the toilet flush lever.

Every time a new toilet is introduced, buyers would have to learn to use it all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old toilet.

The toilet lever would be replaced with the "Start" button.
I have always thought that the worst thing about drowning was having to call 'help!' You must look such a fool. It's put me against drowning.
J Basil Boothroyd

Offline barmisspah?

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Re: Re inventing the toilet
« Reply #1 on: July 20, 2011, 01:42:47 PM »
Wha  whacky115
I couldn't ask for better friends. I could ask for more NORMAL friends, but not better ones.

Offline GROWLER

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Re: Re inventing the toilet
« Reply #2 on: July 20, 2011, 06:24:32 PM »
Look you gorgeous cuddly kitten you, what actually is this shite ey?  rubschin:

I think you'd be better employed getting the stove on again and making me CAKE2, The Resurection, as another trip to 'nuts of Nottingham' is looking like a possibilty again at the end of next week.

He's assured me that his mates are not cannibals and are not going to spit roast me...apparently. rubschin:
One of them is called 'Nod' appaerntly.With a name like that he sounds suitably barkin'. happy088
« Last Edit: July 20, 2011, 06:26:23 PM by GROWLER »

Offline Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons)

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Re: Re inventing the toilet
« Reply #3 on: July 20, 2011, 06:54:16 PM »
Cake I can do but I need yer address if I send it to Nick he just eats it.

The whole post is likening puters to lavs or the other way round. ::)
I have always thought that the worst thing about drowning was having to call 'help!' You must look such a fool. It's put me against drowning.
J Basil Boothroyd