How can we keep you on the line for longer

[Miss Demeanour]

I had to phone a company yesterday to discuss a bill 

The usual barricades were put up about pressing a million other options before you finally get to ' I would you like to speak to an actual person ' option became available.

The usual ' our lines are busy it may be advisable to ring back at a better time' came up 

Still holding I get to the final hurdle  , 'ok whilst you are waiting what music would you like to listen to ' 

Press 1 for pop
Press 2 for rock
Press 3 for classical
Press 4 for opera
Press 5 for easy listening

and so on 

FFS like most of their customer feedback will have said we don't mind waiting 15 minutes for you to answer the phone but this would be much nicer if I could warble to Take That whilst I'm wasting my life away 

[Just One More]

Did the machine tell you that your call is important to them?

Not as important as employing enough people to deal with the calls though

[Snoopy]

I find that if you refuse to press any options and keep tapping the 0 button such systems usually default to a human being.

[Grumpmeister]

It's the 'idiot' setting Snoop, it also works if for example they prompt you with 5 options and you press 6 (you may need to repeat it a couple of times) and you should be put straight through to an agent instead of navigating countless menus.

And before anyone says I'm calling Snoop an idiot ii's how it was described to me when I was talking to a dialler/IVR tech support team about it a few years ago.

[Snoopy]

I refer to it as the "I can't be arsed with this nonsense" option but "Idiot Option" is, I know, a generally accepted term in the trade. 

Call it what you will it does save a lot of time.

[Miss Demeanour]

I find that if you refuse to press any options and keep tapping the 0 button such systems usually default to a human being.

I tried that with this one and it didn't work 

I also tried to use their website before having to resort to trying to talk to them . After finding the 'contact us' section tucked away in the bottom menu in tincy tiny writing I clicked on this to be given the address to write to them or an comments facility where I could email them 'feedback' 

[Snoopy]

The one I really hate getting is from my internet provider that says "If you have a problem connecting to the internet please refer to the FAQs section on our website"

Jeeeeze that one really makes me