The all new "Getting ready for Christmas" thread

[Darwins Selection]

  looks like I hit a nerve there

You know what  you have . I have just written out a hooooge diatribe in response to this but scrubbed it.

What's the point ! 

Good move Miss D 

Indeed so. I won't hear a word said against the nice people at DEFRA. 

Do tell me you ARE having a laugh?

The biggest bunch of time wasting arse holes I've ever had the dis-pleasure of ever having to deal with.

How much do they pay you each year? 

[GROWLER]

  looks like I hit a nerve there

You know what  you have . I have just written out a hooooge diatribe in response to this but scrubbed it.

What's the point ! 

Good move Miss D 

Indeed so. I won't hear a word said against the nice people at DEFRA. 

Do tell me you ARE having a laugh?

The biggest bunch of time wasting arse holes I've ever had the dis-pleasure of ever having to deal with.

How much do they pay you each year? 

How much do WE collectively indirectly pay THEM each year more like it.

[miss Tchevious]

Found growler rehearsing for his xmas show...

http://www.angelfire.com/ga3/holiday5/images/skatingpol.gif

[bodiam]

  looks like I hit a nerve there

You know what  you have . I have just written out a hooooge diatribe in response to this but scrubbed it.

What's the point ! 

Good move Miss D 

Indeed so. I won't hear a word said against the nice people at DEFRA. 

Do tell me you ARE having a laugh?

The biggest bunch of time wasting arse holes I've ever had the dis-pleasure of ever having to deal with.

I did not say that  but I think I agree with him 

[GROWLER]

  looks like I hit a nerve there

You know what  you have . I have just written out a hooooge diatribe in response to this but scrubbed it.

What's the point ! 

Good move Miss D 

Indeed so. I won't hear a word said against the nice people at DEFRA. 

Do tell me you ARE having a laugh?

The biggest bunch of time wasting arse holes I've ever had the dis-pleasure of ever having to deal with.

I did not say that  but I think I agree with him 

No, but I did, and I'll say it again. THEY ARE SHITE, and along with their mates from the E.A. and all of the farmers I've had the dis-pleasure of dealing with over the years, that subsequently completely and utterly bolloxed up my off roading school for youngsters culminating in the eventual closure of said venture. .

I never want to hear about exposed tree roots and stagnant water in ruts ever again thank you, bunch of mealey mouthed jobs worthy red taped wrapped wankers.

[bodiam]

  looks like I hit a nerve there

You know what  you have . I have just written out a hooooge diatribe in response to this but scrubbed it.

What's the point ! 

Good move Miss D 

Indeed so. I won't hear a word said against the nice people at DEFRA. 

Do tell me you ARE having a laugh?

The biggest bunch of time wasting arse holes I've ever had the dis-pleasure of ever having to deal with.

I did not say that  but I think I agree with him 

No, but I did, and I'll say it again. THEY ARE SHITE, and along with their mates from the E.A. and all of the farmers I've had the dis-pleasure of dealing with over the years, that subsequently completely and utterly bolloxed up my off roading school for youngsters culminating in the eventual closure of said venture. .

I never want to hear about exposed tree roots and stagnant water in ruts ever again thank you, bunch of mealey mouthed jobs worthy red taped wrapped wankers.

[GROWLER]

Lets talk about land crop rotation, rented out land to tenants that don't even want you driving around perimeters amongst weeds shite and undergrowth, oh, and of course, the lack of planning permission so therefore NO advertising allowed, oh, and we want more rent off you 'cus you're not bringing enough customers in, oh, and the bloody fisheries or someone doesn't like you being here in case you poison the friggin' trout with spillages or some such shite, and we'll all be fined, lah de dah de diddly dum.

Shall we then talk about mission statements, H& bastard S certifiacates and check lists, oh, and insurance, lets not forget that rip off ey?
Mention the word 'kids' and  you can times the figure by twenty.

Are you actually sure you want me here you tosser?
No?

Well why TF did you ask invite me here in the first place you great cock headed tool?

Yea, 'appy bastard christmas to you too, and all you scummy chummies in the Civil Dis-service, arse wipes.

[Nick]

 

[GROWLER]

And you can sod off too knobby.
Could have all worked out beautifully IF only I'd been quietly allowed to carry on as i was.

I'm upset now reflecting on this, you unsympathetic weasel.

[bodiam]

 

[Snoopy]

For the past twenty years a local farmer has allowed the village kids to ride their motor bikes through a small copse and round one of his fields. It is halfway up a fairly steep slope and not much use for anything but ........ he never got planning consent for the change of use so the county council told him it had to stop. He said "Fvck off, it's my field, I'm not charging anything, just keeping the kids off the streets and also off of common land where they would not be welcomed on their bikes" and carried on.

So Denbighshire took him to court ~ fined £5000 + Costs.

[Barman]

For the past twenty years a local farmer has allowed the village kids to ride their motor bikes through a small copse and round one of his fields. It is halfway up a fairly steep slope and not much use for anything but ........ he never got planning consent for the change of use so the county council told him it had to stop. He said "Fvck off, it's my field, I'm not charging anything, just keeping the kids off the streets and also off of common land where they would not be welcomed on their bikes" and carried on.

So Denbighshire took him to court ~ fined £5000 + Costs.

 

[GROWLER]

For the past twenty years a local farmer has allowed the village kids to ride their motor bikes through a small copse and round one of his fields. It is halfway up a fairly steep slope and not much use for anything but ........ he never got planning consent for the change of use so the county council told him it had to stop. He said "Fvck off, it's my field, I'm not charging anything, just keeping the kids off the streets and also off of common land where they would not be welcomed on their bikes" and carried on.

So Denbighshire took him to court ~ fined £5000 + Costs.

Sadly, quite believable.

Another 5 grand towards the Golden Pension Pot ey,  and these public servant dept's. wonder why we hate them so much.

I really miss my little business.  I enjoyed it, the parents and kids enjoyed it, but in the end, it was strangled to death by beuracratic (sp) red tape and a selection of arse holes.

Talk about gong Off Topic ey?

[Uncle Mort]

Back on topic:

Have just received my first crimbo cards. One from the ex in-laws     and one from me Uncle Jim in Burnley. 

[Pastis]

Coincidentally I've just been looking up "last posting days for Christmas" on the Mail website  .
Seems like I've missed the recommended date for Oz by a day  , still, it's only recommended  -  I shall get those out this afternoon 
(The first one came in from Oz yesterday!)