Nurse: Mr NIck please
Me: Why have I been called in for this?
Nurse: I was going to ask you that
Me: But you called me!
Nurse: Yes, but I don't know why. YOu don't really qualify.
Me: So what shall we do then?
Nurse: Well you don't really qualify for the jab
Me: So...........?
Nurse: Well you can have it if you want, since you are here, like
Me: Any side effects?
Nurse: Oh yes. Your arm may swell up, you may get a temperature and you may feel ill for 48 hours.
Me: A bit like flue then!
Nurse changes subject: Are you still smoking?
Me: Yes, but what has that got to do with it?
Nurse: I Have to ask you
Me: Why?
Nurse: Um, it's bad for you
Me: I know. Do you smoke?
Nurse: Yes
We stare at each other
Nurse: DId they give you an alcohol questionnaire?
Me: No, but I wouldn't have filled it in, or I might have lied.
Nurse: DO you want a booklet about healthy eating?
Me: Thanks, but no
Nurse: OK then off you go
Me: Bye bye
