Here we go:
DFS: 'Not another sale'... 'We only have two sales a year' No you don't you lying feckers. They use a loophole called an 'introductory price' which is in essence bollocks. Who the hell is going to see an advert for a ?500 sofa, wait a week to pay a grand? Also, as they are made to the number of orders that are then placed, it is not a sale.
Any Car Insurance: Why don't the companies just agree to split the cost and just put a list of their names on screen. Voice over 'One of us will probably have the right cover for you at a price you are prepared to pay.' Look, you can't all be the cheapest and the best, you'd save some cash by sacking your creative department.
Car Adverts: The new 'Mystic' on the road for ?6,995. Model shown ?12,995. Actually can i get one with an engine and the wheels. There is one at the moment where an average small car is shown and the model shown is ?5k difference!
The Climate Change Swindels:
Lenor: If you use Lenor Concentrate we can take 12,00 lorryloads of the road. WTF do you make Lenor Non-Concentrate then you bastards?
Aerial: Turn your machine down to 30 degrees. No i want clean clothes, i do remember reading somewhere that this can cause increased limescale and lead to your machine dying early - yep save the planet!
Eon: Can't remember the exact wording but they suggest that we can now choose a cleaner energy option, if you have one use it, don't ask us.
Cosmetics / Health Food: Penti-pepcides, jo-juna berries, healthy bacteria. Feck off, feck off, feck off!