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Author Topic: The perfect crime or money making scheme?  (Read 1084 times)

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Offline Nick

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The perfect crime or money making scheme?
« on: September 18, 2012, 08:42:05 PM »
OK. Time is running out

1. Steal it  noooo:
2. Inherit it  noooo:
3. Earn it TRICKY AT PRESENT
4. Borrow it  noooo:

Any other suggestions?
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Offline Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons)

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Re: The perfect crime or money making scheme?
« Reply #1 on: September 18, 2012, 09:09:05 PM »
Betterwear have some vacancies.
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Offline Nick

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Re: The perfect crime or money making scheme?
« Reply #2 on: September 18, 2012, 09:21:55 PM »
 sad24:
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Offline The Moan Ranger

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Re: The perfect crime or money making scheme?
« Reply #3 on: September 19, 2012, 05:19:29 AM »
Join me at Gatwick  :thumbsup:  It'll shift some of your lardiness. Oh and we don't take the piss out of gingers...not at all  whistle:
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Offline Barman

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Re: The perfect crime or money making scheme?
« Reply #4 on: September 19, 2012, 05:21:11 AM »
Quote from: Nick (GC First Class) on September 18, 2012, 08:42:05 PM
OK. Time is running out

1. Steal it  noooo:
2. Inherit it  noooo:
3. Earn it TRICKY AT PRESENT
4. Borrow it  noooo:

Any other suggestions?

I'm broke, sorry....  whistle:
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Offline Snoopy

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Re: The perfect crime or money making scheme?
« Reply #5 on: September 19, 2012, 08:24:29 AM »
Quote from: Nick (GC First Class) on September 18, 2012, 08:42:05 PM
OK. Time is running out

1. Steal it  noooo:
2. Inherit it  noooo:
3. Earn it TRICKY AT PRESENT
4. Borrow it  noooo:

Any other suggestions?

If it is any consolation, but I doubt that it is, there are many of us in the same boat.

If only we had entered the banking profession we wouldn't have these problems but too late now.

Have you considered taking "Early retirement" and drawing down some of your pensions? That seems to be the route favoured by the public sector.
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Offline Miss Demeanour

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Re: The perfect crime or money making scheme?
« Reply #6 on: September 19, 2012, 08:27:38 AM »
Claim benefits  whistle:
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Offline Nick

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Re: The perfect crime or money making scheme?
« Reply #7 on: September 19, 2012, 08:28:20 AM »
Can't get my pension till I am 60  noooo:
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Offline Snoopy

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Re: The perfect crime or money making scheme?
« Reply #8 on: September 19, 2012, 08:32:58 AM »
Think of someone who may have offended you and sue them.

Accuse News Corp of hacking your site ~ they seem to pay out without question these days.

Write to anyone you may have had a mortgage or credit card with in the last 6 years and claim to have been miss-sold insurance. They too seem to pay out to shut people up.

Break a leg and sue the council for failing to maintain safe footpaths.
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Offline Snoopy

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Re: The perfect crime or money making scheme?
« Reply #9 on: September 19, 2012, 08:33:22 AM »
Quote from: Nick (GC First Class) on September 19, 2012, 08:28:20 AM
Can't get my pension till I am 60  noooo:


Not too long to wait then  razz:
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Offline Miss Demeanour

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Re: The perfect crime or money making scheme?
« Reply #10 on: September 19, 2012, 08:46:27 AM »
Get divorced and get a fair settlement  whistle:
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Offline Snoopy

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Re: The perfect crime or money making scheme?
« Reply #11 on: September 19, 2012, 09:04:10 AM »
Quote from: Miss Demeanour on September 19, 2012, 08:46:27 AM
Get divorced and get a fair settlement  whistle:


I am far from convinced that any man gets a "Fair Settlement" in a divorce.

Having personally handed over the family home and contents, been ordered by the courts to pay 50% of future salary over as "maintenance", I was astonished to be subsequently forced to cash in all life and endowment policies as well as pension funds and hand over 50% of the resultant much reduced payouts. Since by then I had already suffered a heart attack the purchase of further life insurance became unaffordable as did endowment insurance with the result that I have no insurance to provide for my family in the event of my death.
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Offline Darwins Selection

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Re: The perfect crime or money making scheme?
« Reply #12 on: September 19, 2012, 11:33:32 AM »
Quote from: Snoopy on September 19, 2012, 09:04:10 AM
Quote from: Miss Demeanour on September 19, 2012, 08:46:27 AM
Get divorced and get a fair settlement  whistle:

I am far from convinced that any man gets a "Fair Settlement" in a divorce.

It helps if he has a QC in the family.  whistle:
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Offline Snoopy

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Re: The perfect crime or money making scheme?
« Reply #13 on: September 19, 2012, 01:45:13 PM »
Quote from: Darwins Selection on September 19, 2012, 11:33:32 AM
Quote from: Snoopy on September 19, 2012, 09:04:10 AM
Quote from: Miss Demeanour on September 19, 2012, 08:46:27 AM
Get divorced and get a fair settlement  whistle:

I am far from convinced that any man gets a "Fair Settlement" in a divorce.

It helps if he has a QC in the family.  whistle:

 rubschin: I can see that would be useful.
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Offline Nick

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Re: The perfect crime or money making scheme?
« Reply #14 on: September 19, 2012, 01:48:49 PM »
My nephew in law is a QC. He's a bastard evil:
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