OH yes Snoops I am sure that is the case too. She doesn't want to lose her safety net as she sees it.
She has also enquired about what entitlement she would have to his pension rights when he retires as she doesn't have any provision in place. They are not married so that seems fairly clean cut to me
I have told him he needs to go and seek legal advice but you're right, it will not be simple or fair.
I think for far too long he has been far too compliant and it will be difficult to change these patterns and her control. He says he has to though so we shall see.
Seriously fecked up situation though
This is going to be no consolation but remember that we were married.
Her Solicitors demanded, under threat of a court order, access to details of my insurances and pension provisions.
On the grounds that although she had not paid a penny piece into them she had "contributed" by staying at home, being housewife, cook etc, I ended up having to cash in the life policies and give her half the resultant cash PLUS, as the pension could not be cashed in (Company Pension Scheme ..... in the event of my death she would get 1/3 of the pension for the rest of her days) I had to pay her half the value of contributions (My contributions and those made by the company) made to date of divorce. This was all presented to the Judge who handed down a Court Order to that effect, commenting that it seemed a fair and amicable settlement .... the implication being that had I opposed it he would have awarded her more but he preferred it if couples could make their own agreements which he would then "rubber stamp".
I cannot stress enough the value of getting good legal advice as soon as possible.
There is, of course, one other option but I know you won't want to take it. I'll say it anyway: Walk away now and tell him to sort his life then give you a call