The tyranny of the ex

[Darwins Selection]

As the least qualified to comment on successful relationships, I have stood back from this thread to let the better placed pundits have their say.

I am broadly in agreement with the causes, effects and advice given so far.

The problem I see will be the pressure on your new man and how well he handles it. One way or another it will be expensive for him and he will feel he has lost/given up a great deal (unless he 'goes back' of course).

If he feels he has given up all his worldly goods 'for you', there will always be an undercurrent of resentment which will cause friction as you move out of the first flush of romance.

It is always better to have sorted out all this baggage 'for him' rather than as a consequence of a new relationship.

Snoopy's 'walk away, sort it then come back' suggestion is the hardest but probably the best if you are looking for long-term harmony.

You could become a nun or go walkabout of course.

Best of luck, these things are never easy. 

[Barman]

[serious] What a bloody brilliant place this is....

It is amazing that such a diverse bunch of people have come together and feel so close to each other...

Very pleased to have you all here... [/serious]

[The Moan Ranger]

[serious] What a bloody brilliant place this is....

It is amazing that such a diverse bunch of people have come together and feel so close to each other...

Very pleased to have you all here... [/serious]

It's a pleasure to be here - and I hope I speak for all of us when I thank you for keeping the pub "open" despite the hassles you get.

[Barman]

[serious] What a bloody brilliant place this is....

It is amazing that such a diverse bunch of people have come together and feel so close to each other...

Very pleased to have you all here... [/serious]

It's a pleasure to be here - and I hope I speak for all of us when I thank you for keeping the pub "open" despite the hassles you get.

Days like this make it all worthwhile tiny.... 

[apc2010]

[serious] What a bloody brilliant place this is....

It is amazing that such a diverse bunch of people have come together and feel so close to each other...

Very pleased to have you all here... [/serious]

It's a pleasure to be here - and I hope I speak for all of us when I thank you for keeping the pub "open" despite the hassles you get.

 

[miss Tchevious]

We are all here for you missD.

It's easy to tell you to walk away until the complications are sorted, but what relationship is a piece of piss?
The financial and legal complications are not easily solved admittedly, but the emotional dramas she is creating by poisoning the kids against him and "claiming" she wants to to get back together etc can be improved by him growing a pair and standing up to her.
 If you are happy with him, just be as supportive as you can. Nobody comes without baggage, and if you walk away too soon the next fella you meet might have a secret fart fetish, a collection of stuffed rodents in his bedroom and a really ickle willy. 

The real question is  without all the drama, does he make you happy?

[Barman]

We are all here for you missD.

It's easy to tell you to walk away until the complications are sorted, but what relationship is a piece of piss?
The financial and legal complications are not easily solved admittedly, but the emotional dramas she is creating by poisoning the kids against him and "claiming" she wants to to get back together etc can be improved by him growing a pair and standing up to her.
 If you are happy with him, just be as supportive as you can. Nobody comes without baggage, and if you walk away too soon the next fella you meet might have a secret fart fetish, a collection of stuffed rodents in his bedroom and a really ickle willy like Apey. 

The real question is  without all the drama, does he make you happy?

 

[apc2010]

We are all here for you missD.

It's easy to tell you to walk away until the complications are sorted, but what relationship is a piece of piss?
The financial and legal complications are not easily solved admittedly, but the emotional dramas she is creating by poisoning the kids against him and "claiming" she wants to to get back together etc can be improved by him growing a pair and standing up to her.
 If you are happy with him, just be as supportive as you can. Nobody comes without baggage, and if you walk away too soon the next fella you meet might have a secret fart fetish, a collection of stuffed rodents in his bedroom and a really ickle willy like Apey. 

The real question is  without all the drama, does he make you happy?

 

Excuse me but this is a serious thread ......

[Barman]

We are all here for you missD.

It's easy to tell you to walk away until the complications are sorted, but what relationship is a piece of piss?
The financial and legal complications are not easily solved admittedly, but the emotional dramas she is creating by poisoning the kids against him and "claiming" she wants to to get back together etc can be improved by him growing a pair and standing up to her.
 If you are happy with him, just be as supportive as you can. Nobody comes without baggage, and if you walk away too soon the next fella you meet might have a secret fart fetish, a collection of stuffed rodents in his bedroom and a really ickle willy like Apey. 

The real question is  without all the drama, does he make you happy?

 

Excuse me but this is a serious thread ......

It isn't in The Commons.... 

[Miss Demeanour]

Thanks Miss T

In answer to your question – yes he does make me really happy.
He really is the loveliest person – however he accepts he has allowed this situation to go on for far too long and as a consequence of this the situation now is fairly intolerable. He does indeed have to now stand up and be counted in terms of taking action, not allowing her to control his life . The boys are hardly kids and she has little influence or power over them. What she does believe is that she has the ability to make him feel like shit and wear him down to get what she wants. I find her absolute audacity totally gobsmackingly outrageous. Ask him to get back together, then turn abusive  then go back home to your bloke and pretend everything is alright !!!
I have compared it to any change management process where you have to go through the stages of shock, anger, denial and  depression etc until you finally get to acceptance. How long this will take heaven only knows. Is this something I can accept  - only if I see consistency and positive action being taken .
The financial side of things can be sorted over time but the emotional damage and unacceptable behaviours cannot.

[apc2010]

We are all here for you missD.

It's easy to tell you to walk away until the complications are sorted, but what relationship is a piece of piss?
The financial and legal complications are not easily solved admittedly, but the emotional dramas she is creating by poisoning the kids against him and "claiming" she wants to to get back together etc can be improved by him growing a pair and standing up to her.
 If you are happy with him, just be as supportive as you can. Nobody comes without baggage, and if you walk away too soon the next fella you meet might have a secret fart fetish, a collection of stuffed rodents in his bedroom and a really ickle willy like Apey. 

The real question is  without all the drama, does he make you happy?

 

Excuse me but this is a serious thread ......

It isn't in The Commons.... 

Well you wouldn't find me making jokes.......

[miss Tchevious]

To find someone who makes you happy is the hardest part. The rest of the shite is what we call "life". He realises he was too soft (no pun intended) and hopefully will make postive changes to recify that for the future of the two of you.
If that doesn't work I can come and bitch slap the monstrous whorebag I lift tonnes of sound equipment daily so I can pack a punch. 

[Nick]

 

[miss Tchevious]

a warning to you all. 

[Barman]

We are all here for you missD.

It's easy to tell you to walk away until the complications are sorted, but what relationship is a piece of piss?
The financial and legal complications are not easily solved admittedly, but the emotional dramas she is creating by poisoning the kids against him and "claiming" she wants to to get back together etc can be improved by him growing a pair and standing up to her.
 If you are happy with him, just be as supportive as you can. Nobody comes without baggage, and if you walk away too soon the next fella you meet might have a secret fart fetish, a collection of stuffed rodents in his bedroom and a really ickle willy like Apey. 

The real question is  without all the drama, does he make you happy?

 

Excuse me but this is a serious thread ......

It isn't in The Commons.... 

Well you wouldn't find me making jokes.......

So I've heard...