Ok ....we had a girls night yesterday . One of the girls has a flat mate that normally attends these events but she was unable to last night due to what I am about to say.
Anyway her flatmate started by saying she was really worried about her and thinks she is having some sort of mid life crisis. She is 34 FFS ...when did that become mid life
Anyway she is a beautiful woman - but she does have this notion of finding the perfect man who is rich, connected, tall, good looking etc ...all the cliched clap trap that you could ever wish for really
So - she's been single for a while
Anyway she signed up to some dating website and had started 'communicating ' with some french vineyard owner. She googled researched him and was satisfied he ticked most of her boxes
So apparently they had been emailing for a number of weeks and he was saying all the right things and she fell right into believing this was different yadda yadda yadda. Then he became quite assertive . Said the passion was overwhelming etc etc etc ...have you got your vom buckets close by ?
So she is roped in ....he starts telling her about his fantasties and says that he wants to live one out . He is flying to England the following week has a room booked at the Waldorf Astoria and wants her to meet him there ...wearing the old coat with nothing on underneath routine.
She agrees ...then he sends her a 30 page contract where she has to agree what he can do to her
The flatmate bought the contract with her as I wouldn't have believed that
OMG - I have not laughed so long and hard in ages.
You can imagine it was all about his gratification.
Anyway she fecking signed it and went through with it because she was totally hooked into all this by now
They spent the night doing the do in the various ways the contract had set it out. Now most of us would say he just ordered a hooker without paying for it really. This muppet of a woman thought she was in love. Honestly it's completely bloody unbelievable.
So in the morning and this is the killer....he says what are you up to in the next few weeks. So she tells him about a couple of work bits and a weekend away she is having with her mate and he turns round and goes off on one and tells her that she obviously has no time in her life for him and this is not going to work out. He is disgusted.com - what an exit strategy
So she is devastated .....oh purleaseeeeeeeeee ...I wouldn't mind but she is not a stoopid wumman - well I say that
So anyways 4 days later she is having 'pains' and it appears she has a burst condom lodged somewhere it shouldn't be that is causing irritation . So yesterday she had to go for a minor medical procedure to sort that out.
Her flatmate is despairing.
Ludicrous
