Living out your fantasies

[Barman]

You didn't keep a copy of the contract did you? 

Sod the contract - get her e-mail addy! 

Don't forget her list of requirements from a potential suitor 

 

rich, connected, tall, good looking etc

All boxes ticked like! 

  oh you do make me laff!!!

Well the thread is headed "Living out your fantasies" 

Let him live his....... Tall, Good looking, Rich, Connected etc.

 

[Nick]

Anyway she is a beautiful woman - but she does have this notion of finding the perfect man who is rich, connected, tall, good looking etc ...all the cliched clap trap that you could ever wish for really 

 

[Darwins Selection]

Anyway she is a beautiful woman - but she does have this notion of finding the perfect man who is rich, connected, tall, good looking etc ...all the cliched clap trap that you could ever wish for really 

 

I expect there is a proviso on hair colour.

Probably a sanity clause as well.  Cue JOM

[Snoopy]

Anyway she is a beautiful woman - but she does have this notion of finding the perfect man who is rich, connected, tall, good looking etc ...all the cliched clap trap that you could ever wish for really 

 

Nick me owld mate ~ You are neither rich nor good looking.

You do have a lot of charm and are well connected (in that you have a wide circle of friends and acquaintances) and I'll grant that you are tall but I doubt that you qualify otherwise. 

Sorry but what use are friends if they don't tell you the truth?

[Barman]

Anyway she is a beautiful woman - but she does have this notion of finding the perfect man who is rich, connected, tall, good looking etc ...all the cliched clap trap that you could ever wish for really 

 

 

I didn't see 'ginger shambles' in the spec!

[miss Tchevious]

Anyway she is a beautiful woman - but she does have this notion of finding the perfect man who is rich, connected, tall, good looking etc ...all the cliched clap trap that you could ever wish for really 

 

 

I didn't see 'ginger shambles' in the spec!

and at what point did you see " lanky bald crossdresser?" 

[Nick]

Anyway she is a beautiful woman - but she does have this notion of finding the perfect man who is rich, connected, tall, good looking etc ...all the cliched clap trap that you could ever wish for really 

 

Nick me owld mate ~ You are neither rich nor good looking.

You do have a lot of charm and are well connected (in that you have a wide circle of friends and acquaintances) and I'll grant that you are tall but I doubt that you qualify otherwise. 

Sorry but what use are friends if they don't tell you the truth?

 

[Barman]

Anyway she is a beautiful woman - but she does have this notion of finding the perfect man who is rich, connected, tall, good looking etc ...all the cliched clap trap that you could ever wish for really 

 

 

I didn't see 'ginger shambles' in the spec!

and at what point did you see " lanky bald crossdresser?" 

 

[miss Tchevious]

sorry, ,I had an evil moment. 

[Barman]

sorry, ,I had an evil moment. 

Lanky could be 'tall'.... 

[apc2010]

All I read was "She is 34 FFS" .............they must need one hell of a bra.........

[Barman]

All I read was "She is 34 FFS" .............they must need one hell of a bra.........

[Uncle Mort]

Good grief! Some people just shouldn't be let out alone 

[Pirate]

Ok  ....we had a girls night yesterday . One of the girls has a flat mate that normally attends these events but she was unable to last night due to what I am about to say.

Anyway her flatmate started by saying she was really worried about her and thinks she is having some sort of mid life crisis. She is 34 FFS ...when did that become mid life 

Anyway she is a beautiful woman - but she does have this notion of finding the perfect man who is rich, connected, tall, good looking etc ...all the cliched clap trap that you could ever wish for really 

So - she's been single for a while 

Anyway she signed up to some dating website and had started 'communicating ' with some french vineyard owner. She googled researched him and was satisfied he ticked most of her boxes 

So apparently they had been emailing for a number of weeks and he was saying all the right things and she fell right into believing this was different yadda yadda yadda. Then he became quite assertive . Said the passion was overwhelming etc etc etc ...have you got your vom buckets close by ?

So she is roped in ....he starts telling her about his fantasties and says that he wants to live one out . He is flying to England the following week has a room booked at the Waldorf Astoria and wants her to meet him there ...wearing the old coat with nothing on underneath routine.

She agrees ...then he sends her a 30 page contract where she has to agree what he can do to her 

The flatmate bought the contract with her as I wouldn't have believed that 

OMG - I have not laughed so long and hard in ages.

You can imagine it was all about his gratification.

Anyway she fecking signed it and went through with it because she was totally hooked into all this by now 

They spent the night doing the do in the various ways the contract had set it out. Now most of us would say he just ordered a hooker without paying for it really. This muppet of a woman thought she was in love. Honestly it's completely bloody unbelievable.

So in the morning and this is the killer....he says what are you up to in the next few weeks. So she tells him about a couple of work bits and a weekend away she is having with her mate and he turns round and goes off on one and tells her that she obviously has no time in her life for him and this is not going to work out. He is disgusted.com  - what an exit strategy 

So she is devastated .....oh purleaseeeeeeeeee ...I wouldn't mind but she is not a stoopid wumman - well I say that 

So anyways 4 days later she is having 'pains' and it appears she has a burst condom lodged somewhere it shouldn't be that is causing irritation . So yesterday she had to go for a minor medical procedure to sort that out.

Her flatmate is despairing.

Ludicrous 

 

Is you 'friend's' fat mate called Anastasia Steele by any chance...

[Darwins Selection]

Is you 'friend's' fat mate called Anastasia Steele by any chance...

. . . Asked constable Dick O'Steele.