Parcel Farce

[Barman]

She was prolly hoping you had sent her a pressy 

Poor LL 

If she'd taken it with her last week this wouldn't have happened! 

It'll still be your fault though, you do actually realise that don't you?

Oh yes indeedy-doody! 

Or mine.

Unlikely on this occasion... 

Well you can blame me if you want.
Everyfuckingthing else in the werld is MY friggin' fault...apparently, so 'they' say like, whoever 'they ' actually are like,, so in for a penny, in for a piggin' misguided parcel.

 

[Baldy]

Blimey. It is usually me that gets the blame round these parts.

[apc2010]

Blimey. It is usually me that gets the blame round these parts.

That's coz its normally your fault..........

[Barman]

Blimey. It is usually me that gets the blame round these parts.

That's coz its normally your fault..........

 

[Barman]

You couldn't make this up! 

This surely couldn't be clearer?

You have just delivered this parcel to the 'return address' instead of the 
original delivery address.

Please advise...

Thanks in advance,

Barman

To which they responded....

Dear Barman

Thank you for your enquiry.

The parcel that you are enquiring about has been delivered after arriving in the UK from Cyprus.

For proof of delivery, please refer to our website at www.parcelforce.com

If you require any further information or assistance, please reply to this email showing all conversations we have had on this enquiry.

Our hours of business are: Mon to Fri: 8am to 5:30pm

Kind regards

 


Mick Pitts
Parcelforce Worldwide
Customer Service Email Team.

[Steve]

Targets   

Target 1:  all parcels must be delivered on time (don't give a feck where)

Target 2: all emails must be replied to within 30 minutes (even if fecking nonsense reply)

[Barman]

Targets   

Target 1:  all parcels must be delivered on time (don't give a feck where)

Target 2: all emails must be replied to within 30 minutes (even if fecking nonsense reply)

Oh noes.... 

Each time I e-mail I get this back! 

Thank you for your email.

We will get back to you as soon as we can but please be aware that our turnaround time is 12 working hours.

This is an automated acknowledgement to your email; please do not respond to this message.

 Our Customer Service email team opening hours are:  Mon-Fri: 8am to 5:30pm
                                       
Deliveries are usually started at 7am to 5:30pm Monday to Friday. Deliveries on a Saturday are only made where the sender has chosen and paid for a Saturday delivery service. These deliveries are usually made between 7am to 1pm.

We do not currently deliver on a Sunday.

The highlighting is theirs BTW.... 

[Pastis]

I have come to hate ParcelFarce      So unlike me, I know 

Their van usually turns up most days and whereas years ago the driver used to park up outside, get out from his van and press the buzzer etc which was fine...
Nowadays, in fact for the past couple of years, he just swerves into the kerb by the gates and toots his horn...

TOOT ... TOOT TOOT... TOOT TOOT.. TOOOOOOOOOOOT!

... in the expectation that someone will buzz open the gates so that he doesn't have to feckin well get off his fat @rse and press entry buttons   

[Steve]

Electric gates?  I dream of having gates, the games i could play with passing pedestrians

[Barman]

Electric gates?  I dream of having gates, the games i could play with passing pedestrians

 

[Pastis]

Electric gates?  I dream of having gates, the games i could play with passing pedestrians

 

      

[Steve]

Portcullis would be better, envigle them into range and cathunk drop it to within an inch of their heads - well that's if the dodgy brake holds

[Nick]

I have electick gates.     And a blipper 

[apc2010]

I have electick gates.     And a blipper 

And a boiler.............

[Barman]

They called and said there would be another delivery charge!