There was an old chap in the village who was a legendary boozer. He was also an accountant. He told me once that his doctor wanted to know how much he drank and that he had decided to be truthful
Tally was:
10,00 a.m.: glass of sherry with the morning mail
1.00: Pub. Three pints followed by lunch at his club with bottle of claret
4.00: Drive home and go to pub. 5 pints
7.00: Dinner. Bottle of collapso
Followed by port and brandy
Doc said, "Mr X, I couldn't drink that much water in a day!"
His reply? "Well neither could I"