Don't you ever watch those Border Control programmes? The Oz one is the best. Some chinese scrote gets pulled up at customs, tries to deny it sweating profusely and later is X rayed and found to have 20 heroin filled* condoms in his stomach
It's a great programme all the family can play. You stop the replay just when person is stopped and you all bet on guilty or innocent. Loser has to feed the cat.
* in your case they'd be Marmite filled one of course - but i really don't think Apey would want the results
I remember many years ago on the Generation Game (Brucey, not that gayer)...
One of the games was a sort of customs thing... the contestants had to pretend to carry a bag and fool the 'customs officer' as to its weight - heavy or light...
But one of the contestants was a customs officer and he got every single one right....
Nowadays he'd be a
Border Patrol officer and would kick shit out of you for having 2,000 Captsan Full Strength while ignoring the fact that you also had a Glock automatic and 5Kg of Heroin in the same case....