The Once Upon a Time Independent Republic of Marmite-Twigletia

[Barman]

What treachery is afoot. 

You low life traitors will be dealt with in the manner that suits your crime. You will be rounded up, stripped and coated in the stuff that has sealed your fate. 

I shall round up the scraggiest, most flea ridden pesky cat's with the coursest tongues to take off the outer layers of your skin. I shall then pour salt all over your slug like bodies until you repent !

Your normal Friday night then........

 

[Darwins Selection]

I have called the UN.

Coffee Nanna is popping in for a pint and to sort things out.

[Steve]

What treachery is afoot. 

You low life traitors will be dealt with in the manner that suits your crime. You will be rounded up, stripped and coated in the stuff that has sealed your fate. 

I shall round up the scraggiest, most flea ridden pesky cat's with the coursest tongues to take off the outer layers of your skin. I shall then pour salt all over your slug like bodies until you repent !

So the Ministeress for Food wants peace talks I see ^

Peace talks is good, we can bring voddy

[Miss Demeanour]

We can have pissed talks if you want as long as you concede I'm right your wrong !

[Barman]

We xan have pissed talks if you want as long as you concede I'm right your wrong !

 

[Steve]

Your concessions are noted

[Steve]

Coffee Nanna from the UN (thanks DS) has just sent through the official diplomatic translation of the recent posts from the Ministeress of Food

Draft Treaty Proposal

Her right royalness, supreme being and Ministeress of Food proposes that providing that . .

1.  All reference to Marmite-Twigletia as a new independent republic cease and are removed

2.  No displays of the Marmite-Twigletia flag are made nor singing of the Marmite-Twigletia anthem is heard

3.  The stipend of the Ministeress of Food is increased by an extra bottle of non watered down decent virtual vodka a week

4. You bastards hand over that bottle of Zytnia right now

5.  All weapons of advanced lampoonery are retargeted towards far more evil targets

6.  You bastards agree that in the all new junta, alleged double agent Boogs gets the role of Ministeress for spying and getting men to fix things by fluttering eyelashes

then

7.  She will use her good offices to persuade Barman to remove overt Marmitist displays

8.  Marmite and Twiglets can be eaten and traded anywhere she doesn't get to see, hear or smell the damn stuff

9.  She and her team will make earnest attempts to kiss better all severed limbs, heads and other bodily parts that resulted from use of her axe in the unfortunate fracas in the Turnip and Onion pub yesterday

Sounds like we have a deal!   

Behold the Treaty of Bickering 2013


Smart cookie that Coffee Nanna eh, shall we send him to help old Aniseedballs?

[Barman]

What could possibly go wrong like...?