Overgushingly pleasant shop staff

[GROWLER]

Just had me highlight of the day experience.

B and extremelly long Q for an new shower 'ose.

HOW FRIGGIN' MUCH!!!

Any'ow.
 Till munter greeted me with the most hooge smile ever seen by man or beast, , and a hello darling and how are you today?

Me, he sez looking over his shoulder...painfully.

Yes sweetheart, you. are you well, and when you're ready please place your card into the machine please.

Transaction completed, I watched yet  another almost face cracking smile as her eyes disappeared into her bloated cheeks.

"Do have a most enjoyable rest of the day my lovely, and thank you so much for shopping with us

Yu wha?

I did actually mutter "fuck off you tosser" under me breath as I beat a hasty retreat with the sheer excitement and anticipation of the predicted enjoyment of fitting new shower hose, with her werds still ringing in me ears.

[Barman]

Just had me highlight of the day experience.

B and extremelly long Q for an new shower 'ose.

HOW FRIGGIN' MUCH!!!

Any'ow.
 Till munter greeted me with the most hooge smile ever seen by man or beast, , and a hello darling and how are you today?

Me, he sez looking over his shoulder...painfully.

Yes sweetheart, you. are you well, and when you're ready please place your card into the machine please.

Transaction completed, I watched yet  another almost face cracking smile as her eyes disappeared into her bloated cheeks.

"Do have a most enjoyable rest of the day my lovely, and thank you so much for shopping with us

Yu wha?

I did actually mutter "fuck off you tosser" under me breath as I beat a hasty retreat with the sheer excitement and anticipation of the predicted enjoyment of fitting new shower hose, with her werds still ringing in me ears.

Did she give you a fucking bag for it tho? 

[GROWLER]

Did she bollox, bloated munter.

I think I'd rather she'd spat in me face than give me all that shite.

Can't stand overly pleasant sheeple, 'specially ones that you've never seen before, never want to see again, and  act like they're yer best buddy in the whole werld.

[Nick]

 

[GROWLER]

27 bastard friggin' pounds FFS!

Could 'ave got one for £9.50    B and very long Q 'special'. Guaranteed 'til you've left the shop jobbie.

[GROWLER]

Wozup with you yer friggin' wanker?

[Darwins Selection]

Have a nice day sir

[GROWLER]

Have a nice day sir

Looks very much like the relatively new one now residing in me bin that does Darwin, but thanks for the attempted kick in the bollox anyways.

[Darwins Selection]

Have a nice day sir

Looks very much like the relatively new one now residing in me bin that does Darwin, but thanks for the attempted kick in the bollox anyways.

I thought at that price you could change it once a fortnight for a year and still be in pocket. 

[Barman]

Have a nice day sir

They'd put it in a bag too..... 

[Nick]

Now he has broken his own shower 

[GROWLER]

Now he has broken his own shower 

No. I, yes ME, has mended it.

[Miss Demeanour]

Went  to coffee place yesterday and was queing behind some wumman.

The coffee shop girl says to the wumman
" are you with your son"

The wumman looks a bit confused so the cofffee shop girl says " oh I thought you were with someone and that he was your son "

Wumman shakes her head and says " no definitely not my son, I failed to reproduce " 

Coffee shop girl looks a bit startled by this revelation and then says " oh well ,at least they cant cause you any problems "

Over sharing wumman then says " oh but it did my husband left me 30 years ago because of it "

Coffee shop girl is now thinking she needs to dig herself out of a hole so comes back with " oh well , probably happier without him "

Wumman then says " not really , haven't met anyone since and dont feel like I've ever been loved "

Coffee girl gives up " sugar and napkins are just on the right "   

[Nick]

 

[boogs]

Went  to coffee place yesterday and was queing behind some wumman.

The coffee shop girl says to the wumman
" are you with your son"

The wumman looks a bit confused so the cofffee shop girl says " oh I thought you were with someone and that he was your son "

Wumman shakes her head and says " no definitely not my son, I failed to reproduce " 

Coffee shop girl looks a bit startled by this revelation and then says " oh well ,at least they cant cause you any problems "

Over sharing wumman then says " oh but it did my husband left me 30 years ago because of it "

Coffee shop girl is now thinking she needs to dig herself out of a hole so comes back with " oh well , probably happier without him "

Wumman then says " not really , haven't met anyone since and dont feel like I've ever been loved "

Coffee girl gives up " sugar and napkins are just on the right "