Cyprus summarised:
Criminal ex pats
Keo
Tiny pigs
Escaped goats
Insane drivers
Zombies dancing
Keo
Deadly snakes
Chavs
Sunburn
Bees
Liver damage
Baldy
("I thought you were rug munchers" etc)
The Organist
Sausage rolls and Lidl beer for a treat
I should get a job with the tourist board (Awful Truth section)