Prize Winning Calamity Football 2013-14

[Steve]

Saints out .......

 

Sorry Snoopy but that'll be a plummet for your team.  Watch dis space

[Steve]

Big Calamity for Snoopy's Southampton

"Goals from Phil Bardsley and Sebastian Larsson secured Sunderland a Capital One Cup quarter-final tie against Chelsea at the expense of Southampton."

Updated table:

P	Team	Owner	CA	GC	REL	KO	OG	SO	OB	LG	LP	TOT
1	Man U	Steve						1				99
1	Chelsea	Baldy						1				99
1	W Ham	Uncle						1				99
4	Spurs	Tipsy					1				1	98
4	Arsenal	Apey						2				98
6	Sthmptn	'Snoopy'				1						95
6	Liverpool	Growler				1						95
8	Forest	Boogs				1		2				93
8	Leeds	Misty				1	1	1				93

[Steve]

Double Calamity for Tipsy's Spurs

"Alvaro Negredo's shot hits first Tottenham defender Younes Kaboul and then Sandro and ends up in the net. . . . . .FULL-TIME- Manchester City 6-0 Tottenham"

Updated table:

P	Team	Owner	CA	GC	REL	KO	OG	SO	OB	LG	LP	TOT
1	Man U	Steve						1				99
1	Chelsea	Baldy						1				99
1	W Ham	Uncle						1				99
4	Arsenal	Apey						2				98
5	Spurs	Tipsy					2			1	1	96
6	Sthmptn	'Snoopy'				1						95
6	Liverpool	Growler				1						95
8	Forest	Boogs				1		2				93
8	Leeds	Misty				1	1	1				93

[Steve]

(as if he's watching) Calamity for Growler's Liverpool

"Yannick Sagbo holds the ball up and finds the Hud lurking on the edge of the box, he goes for the left-footed chip but it's sailing harmlessly wide until Martin Skrtel diverts it into the net with a stooping header. "

Updated table:

P	Team	Owner	CA	GC	REL	KO	OG	SO	OB	LG	LP	TOT
1	Man U	Steve						1				99
1	Chelsea	Baldy						1				99
1	W Ham	Uncle						1				99
4	Arsenal	Apey						2				98
5	Spurs	Tipsy					2			1	1	96
6	Sthmptn	'Snoopy'				1						95
7	Liverpool	Growler				1	1					94
8	Forest	Boogs				1		2				93
8	Leeds	Misty				1	1	1				93

[Steve]

Multiple Calamities for Uncle and the missing Growler

1. "Terrible luck for West Ham as Luis Suarez takes a shot which bounces off goalkeeper Jussi Jasskelainen and deflects into Guy Demel who turns it into his own goal. "
2. "Guy Demel whips a cross to the far post which Matt Jarvis puts back into the mixer for Martin Skrtel to turn past his own keeper."
3. "West Ham's discipline is going now - Kevin Nolan rightly being sent for an early bath for an awful rake down the back of Jordan Henderson's calf."
4.  "Luis Suarez turns Mark Noble inside out on the edge of the area and hammers a shot which takes a wicked deflection off Joey O'Brien and nestles into the back of the net."

Updated table:

P	Team	Owner	CA	GC	REL	KO	OG	SO	OB	LG	LP	TOT
1	Man U	Steve						1				99
1	Chelsea	Baldy						1				99
3	Arsenal	Apey						2				98
4	W Ham	Uncle					2	2				96
4	Spurs	Tipsy					2			1	1	96
6	Sthmptn	'Snoopy'				1						95
7	Liverpool	Growler				1	2					93
7	Forest	Boogs				1		2				93
7	Leeds	Misty				1	1	1				93

[Steve]

well after a delay to allow Apey to try and bribe blackmail or otherwise persuade our Uncle, a
Euro Calamity for Apey is logged

"This could make the last 15 minutes very interesting! Mikel Arteta is sent off for a second yellow card, a nibble on Jose Callejon. Not much in it but he's off."

Updated table:

P	Team	Owner	CA	GC	REL	KO	OG	SO	OB	LG	LP	TOT
1	Chelsea	Baldy						1				99
1	Man U	Steve						1				99
3	Arsenal	Apey						3				97
4	W Ham	Uncle					2	2				96
4	Spurs	Tipsy					2			1	1	96
6	Sthmptn	'Snoopy'				1						95
7	Liverpool	Growler				1	2					93
7	Forest	Boogs				1		2				93
7	Leeds	Misty				1	1	1				93

[apc2010]

well after a delay to allow Apey to try and bribe blackmail or otherwise persuade our Uncle, a
Euro Calamity for Apey is logged

"This could make the last 15 minutes very interesting! Mikel Arteta is sent off for a second yellow card, a nibble on Jose Callejon. Not much in it but he's off."

Updated table:

P	Team	Owner	CA	GC	REL	KO	OG	SO	OB	LG	LP	TOT
1	Chelsea	Baldy						1				99
1	Man U	Steve						1				99
3	Arsenal	Apey						3				97
4	W Ham	Uncle					2	2				96
4	Spurs	Tipsy					2			1	1	96
6	Sthmptn	'Snoopy'				1						95
7	Liverpool	Growler				1	2					93
7	Forest	Boogs				1		2				93
7	Leeds	Misty				1	1	1				93

Uncle is not Sepp Blatter..........

[Steve]

. . .
Uncle is not Sepp Blatter..........

and aren't we glad

we should start a campaign for Uncle to be his successor though, then we could bump Blatter off, gain a CDB point in the process and all would be good again in football

[apc2010]

. . .
Uncle is not Sepp Blatter..........

and aren't we glad

we should start a campaign for Uncle to be his successor though, then we could bump Blatter off, gain a CDB point in the process and all would be good again in football

He gets my vote........but he wouldn't work any days when the Hammers were playing to avoid the score ..........

[Steve]

Is AVB's going to pay for dealing Tipsy a Double Calamity with a P45 on Monday?

"RED CARD- Tottenham 0-2 Liverpool - Paulinho
A shake of the head from Andre Villas-Boas. Luis Suarez knocks the ball forward and Paulinho's challenge is late. In fact, he kicks the Liverpool striker in the ribs,"
"Tottenham 0-5 Liverpool Tottenham chairman Daniel Levy looks on as the final whistle is blown. Is the sword of Damocles hovering over Andre Villas-Boas?"

Updated table:

P	Team	Owner	CA	GC	REL	KO	OG	SO	OB	LG	LP	TOT
1	Chelsea	Baldy						1				99
1	Man U	Steve						1				99
3	Arsenal	Apey						3				97
4	W Ham	Uncle					2	2				96
5	Sthmptn	'Snoopy'				1						95
6	Spurs	Tipsy					2	1		2	1	94
7	Liverpool	Growler				1	2					93
7	Forest	Boogs				1		2				93
7	Leeds	Misty				1	1	1				93

[Steve]

Boogs Forest drop to bottom place with their third sending off  Calamity

"Nottingham Forest, who have drawn four of their last five matches, had Darius Henderson sent off late on. The striker had only been on the field for eight minutes"

Updated table:

P	Team	Owner	CA	GC	REL	KO	OG	SO	OB	LG	LP	TOT
1	Chelsea	Baldy						1				99
1	Man U	Steve						1				99
3	Arsenal	Apey						3				97
4	W Ham	Uncle					2	2				96
5	Sthmptn	'Snoopy'				1						95
6	Spurs	Tipsy					2	1		2	1	94
7	Liverpool	Growler				1	2					93
7	Leeds	Misty				1	1	1				93
9	Forest	Boogs				1		3				92

[Steve]

Stupid idiot giving me a Calamity

"Dismissal  Second yellow card to Luis Antonio Valencia (Manchester United)."

Updated table:

P	Team	Owner	CA	GC	REL	KO	OG	SO	OB	LG	LP	TOT
1	Chelsea	Baldy						1				99
2	Man U	Steve						2				98
3	Arsenal	Apey						3				97
4	W Ham	Uncle					2	2				96
5	Sthmptn	'Snoopy'				1						95
6	Spurs	Tipsy					2	1		2	1	94
7	Liverpool	Growler				1	2					93
7	Leeds	Misty				1	1	1				93
9	Forest	Boogs				1		3				92

[boogs]

      heartbroken...

[Steve]

    heartbroken...

Nah, don't worry yet.  The Euro cup exits start in February

Meantime Nolan gives another Calamity to Uncle

"Kevin Nolan earns a second stupid red card in a matter of weeks. Big Sam will be fuming.  Nolan is jostling with Fernando Amorebieta on the halfway line and after pushing him off the ball, he volleys him in the calf. Brainless."

Updated table:

P	Team	Owner	CA	GC	REL	KO	OG	SO	OB	LG	LP	TOT
1	Chelsea	Baldy						1				99
2	Man U	Steve						2				98
3	Arsenal	Apey						3				97
4	W Ham	Uncle					2	3				95
4	Sthmptn	'Snoopy'				1						95
6	Spurs	Tipsy					2	1		2	1	94
7	Liverpool	Growler				1	2					93
7	Leeds	Misty				1	1	1				93
9	Forest	Boogs				1		3				92

[Steve]

big calamities for Misty and Tipsy today

Will update tomorrow after Boogs v Uncle and my misfiring lot v Swansea