Duvet covers

[Barman]

Why oh why do they have hundreds of those little fiddly buttons that are inside-out at the bottom? Why not just a simple zip fastener? 

It?s like some bizarre magicians prop that Houdini himself would struggle to get out of. 

Yes, I am changing the beds at the moment?   

[Barman]

And how in god?s name ? in a trick worthy of Houdini ? can you put a duvet cover, four pillow cases and a sheet in the washing machine separately and find them all inside the cover when you take it out? 

[Misunderstood]

And how in god?s name ? in a trick worthy of Houdini ? can you put a duvet cover, four pillow cases and a sheet in the washing machine separately and find them all inside the cover when you take it out? 

It's a conspiracy!  I know a conspiracy when I see one! 

It's all part of the 'Rise of the machines' First they spend a few years totally confounding you with their ability to do unbelievable tricks and then one day - they will attack!

Their uprising will be total, because we will try to use machines to fight them with, Um calculator - How many rebel machines are there? 'Well 13 x 11 = 10001111'  Blimey we're done for, all those machines that can do miraculous stuff that we can't, My coffee machine has started producing tea and my watch says it's next week We're doomed - We surrender!

[Barman]

Do you think they?re in with the cables? 

[Misunderstood]

Do you think they?re in with the cables? 

I think the Cables lead them to it!     

[Bar Wench]

And how in god?s name ? in a trick worthy of Houdini ? can you put a duvet cover, four pillow cases and a sheet in the washing machine separately and find them all inside the cover when you take it out? 

Do the buttons up on the duvet cover? I never have this problem. 

[Barman]

I?m not sure which would take longer ? re-doing the fifty fiddly little inside-out buttons back up after removing the duvet or dragging the scrunched-up sheet and pillow cases out of it. 

[Bar Wench]

But if they are scrunched up then don't you have to iron them? Far quicker to do the fiddly buttons up.








(I replace all mine with poppers.) 

[Barman]

But if they are scrunched up then don't you have to iron them? Far quicker to do the fiddly buttons up.








(I replace all mine with poppers.) 

'Iron' you say? 

[Snoopy]

Dealing with Duvets
Rule#1    Buy a supply of good quality sheets and pillow slips ~ all in white cotton
Rule#2    Never use a bottom sheet and duvet only ~ always have a top sheet too.
Rule#3    Never buy duvets with poppers or buttons and NEVER with matched pillow slips
Rule#4    Use your duvet like an old fashioned quilt and there is no need to wash the cover every week ~ did your mother wash the blankets every week? NO because you had two sheets. She washed the blankets and quilt once a year in the summer.
Rule#5    If you don't like rules 1 to 4 use a laundry service.

[Barman]

(I replace all mine with poppers.) 

Why not a zip? 

[Bar Wench]

Because they hurt when you brush your feet against them. They also aren't as easy to put in as poppers.

[Snoopy]

If you are washing the damn thing weekly a zip won't last long and (i) have you seen the price of zips that long ~ cost less to replace the duvet cover AND (ii) Have you ever tried to sew in a zip? Even a new zip in a pair of the boys school trousers cost ?2.50 and after struggling for several hours to get it to look right I gave up and went to Asda and bought new trousers for the lad .... they cost ?5. Was the grief worth it? Never try to replace a zip .... employ somebody to do it or buy a new garment.

[Barman]

Dealing with Duvets
Rule#1    Buy a supply of good quality sheets and pillow slips ~ all in white cotton
Rule#2    Never use a bottom sheet and duvet only ~ always have a top sheet too.
Rule#3    Never buy duvets with poppers or buttons and NEVER with matched pillow slips
Rule#4    Use your duvet like an old fashioned quilt and there is no need to wash the cover every week ~ did your mother wash the blankets every week? NO because you had two sheets. She washed the blankets and quilt once a year in the summer.
Rule#5    If you don't like rules 1 to 4 use a laundry service.

sage words... but I like the no-sheet duvet thing.

[Snoopy]

Dealing with Duvets
Rule#1    Buy a supply of good quality sheets and pillow slips ~ all in white cotton
Rule#2    Never use a bottom sheet and duvet only ~ always have a top sheet too.
Rule#3    Never buy duvets with poppers or buttons and NEVER with matched pillow slips
Rule#4    Use your duvet like an old fashioned quilt and there is no need to wash the cover every week ~ did your mother wash the blankets every week? NO because you had two sheets. She washed the blankets and quilt once a year in the summer.
Rule#5    If you don't like rules 1 to 4 use a laundry service.

sage words... but I like the no-sheet duvet thing.

Then apply rule 5