The trials of Women making Jam

[Steve]

 

I knows I'm proven middle aged and all that but I is too young to die

[boogs]

I knows I'm proven middle aged and all that but I is too young to die

Then just embellish the truth ....     It is only a little white lie...

[Steve]

Nah I'll fess up, always the bestest way

[boogs]

Nah I'll fess up, always the bestest way

Before you do better remind her that we will need an address, date and time ... then tell her     

[Steve]

 

 

[Scrooge in Oliver mode]  I think I better think it out again [/Scrooge in Oliver mode]

[Darwins Selection]

There are two ways to make decent plum jam

The men's way: 

4 jars £3.60 as a side buy on visit to Tescos job done


The woman's way

1.   Wait til tree we were sold as cherry tree looks vaguely ready for picking greengages
2.   Say "oh dear they are not ready yet" and "they'll do for plums"
3.   Repeat steps 1 and 2 several times
4.   Say "you don't have to help me pick them you know"
5.   Give that stare when I say fine I'll watch footie then
6.   Pick ~ 6ibs of greengages
7.   Buy ~£10 of jam jar associated jars, labels, covers, waxed circles (WTF?), special sugar etc
8.   Wash jars
9.   Make jam and put in jars
10. Decide it's too runny
11. Visit 3 shops to buy preserving pan for £36 (only £25 ish on Amazon I plead)
12. Wash etc etc
13. Start recooking jam on a hot sticky day
14. Start moaning about the very expensive jam thermometer unused since bought 5 years ago
15. Get husband to change battery in thermometer
16. Say "no I don't think so" when husband points out the expensive pan is way too big for the quantity and the thermometer is barely in the jam

And that's so far and at least £12 a jar of greengage jam that's still not ready to eat

And some wonder why there's a glass ceiling 


If she sees this I'll be a dead man so please play November Rain at my funeral

Top tip for jam makers:

Cheapest source of jam jars, buy Tesco value lemon curd, 21p/jar.

Empty lemon curd down the toilet, wash jar. 

[Steve]

, , ,
Top tip for jam makers:

Cheapest source of jam jars, buy Tesco value lemon curd, 21p/jar.

Empty lemon curd down the toilet, wash jar. 

 

Even Mrs K is and  over that one.

Sadly we spent another fortune on jam gubbins today.  2 years ago the phrase was "kinitting is the new rock and roll", last year it was those sodding Fairy Cakes and tht fad passed Mrs K by.  But now it seems Jam Making is the new Rock and Roll

Ah well, botulism aside it's a harmless and relatively cheap pastime

[boogs]

, , ,
Top tip for jam makers:

Cheapest source of jam jars, buy Tesco value lemon curd, 21p/jar.

Empty lemon curd down the toilet, wash jar. 

 

Even Mrs K is and  over that one.

Sadly we spent another fortune on jam gubbins today.  2 years ago the phrase was "kinitting is the new rock and roll", last year it was those sodding Fairy Cakes and tht fad passed Mrs K by.  But now it seems Jam Making is the new Rock and Roll

Ah well, botulism aside it's a harmless and relatively cheap pastime

 

[Steve]

Yes I did tell her about the Brandy and how I got that idea

[boogs]

Yes I did tell her about the Brandy and how I got that idea

And you are here to tell ...  You sure you have not been in A&E you were gone a long time today ....

[Steve]

I didn't show her the opening post, that would be silly

[boogs]

I didn't show her the opening post, that would be silly

Chicken ...

[Darwins Selection]

I didn't show her the opening post, that would be silly

Chicken ...

Chicken-style Quorn pieces, surely. 

[Steve]

I didn't show her the opening post, that would be silly

Chicken ...

Chicken-style Quorn pieces, surely. 

Just sensible

[boogs]

I didn't show her the opening post, that would be silly

Chicken ...

Chicken-style Quorn pieces, surely. 

Just sensible

Man up ..... just tell her