Private quackters and my poorly eye

[Nick]

SO I have something growing on my eye 

Went to the quackter and he said it needed freezing off but a highly specialised job (to avoid blindness and such  )

He offers to refer me and discloses that this may take "months" to sort out 

I investigate private options and go to private clinic in Nottingham where, at first, they give me every indication they will do it on the spot  (liquid nitrogen  )

Private quackter looks at it for 2 seconds and declares it needs a speciaist and takes pics with his phone (7 seconds)

He shakes my hand and says there are forms to be completed

Pretty receptionist takes down my many particulars 

Then demands £50 

I point out several spelling errors on the forms (they can't spell medical or doctor's correctly  )

I suggest, jokingly, a 10% discount for proofreading. Quackter overhears this, checks forms and agrees 

I now wait for a referral. Could be next week 

[Darwins Selection]

 

[Nick]

 

[Barman]

SO I have something growing on my eye 

Went to the quackter and he said it needed freezing off but a highly specialised job (to avoid blindness and such  )

He offers to refer me and discloses that this may take "months" to sort out 

I investigate private options and go to private clinic in Nottingham where, at first, they give me every indication they will do it on the spot  (liquid nitrogen  )

Private quackter looks at it for 2 seconds and declares it needs a speciaist and takes pics with his phone (7 seconds)

He shakes my hand and says there are forms to be completed

Pretty receptionist takes down my many particulars 

Then demands £50 

I point out several spelling errors on the forms (they can't spell medical or doctor's correctly  )

I suggest, jokingly, a 10% discount for proofreading. Quackter overhears this, checks forms and agrees 

I now wait for a referral. Could be next week 

Excellent! 

[Steve]

SO I have something growing on my eye  . . .

The growth has another view.  It suddenly found a Nick growing on itself and is very depressed about it.



(serious mode:  hope it goes well)

[Baldy]

 

 

[Grumpmeister]

This is the age of modern medicine, Nick would have a prosthetic to make him look his normal self...

[boogs]

Pretty receptionist takes down my many particulars 

Then demands £50 

I suggest, jokingly, a 10% discount I now wait for a referral. Could be next week 

Hyson Green 

[Darwins Selection]

Pretty receptionist takes down my many particulars 

Then demands £50 

I suggest, jokingly, a 10% discount I now wait for a referral. Could be next week 

Hyson Green 

Robson's brother?

[boogs]

Pretty receptionist takes down my many particulars 

Then demands £50 

I suggest, jokingly, a 10% discount I now wait for a referral. Could be next week 

Hyson Green 

Robson's brother?

Well known area 

[Darwins Selection]

Pretty receptionist takes down my many particulars 

Then demands £50 

I suggest, jokingly, a 10% discount I now wait for a referral. Could be next week 

Hyson Green 

Robson's brother?

Well known area 

OIC

[Nick]

Well that was HORRID 

Quackter said that freezing was an option but that in my case it was better to CUT it out. Wiv a SCALPEL. From my eye 

He stuck a needle in first    then cut it    Then he did summat else where I could smell BURNING. ME BURNING 

He now says I will have a mahoosive black eye 

[apc2010]

Well that was HORRID 

Quackter said that freezing was an option but that in my case it was better to CUT it out. Wiv a SCALPEL. From my eye 

He stuck a needle in first    then cut it    Then he did summat else where I could smell BURNING. ME BURNING 

He now says I will have a mahoosive black eye 

Did you not pay......

[Nick]

Only £150   

[Barman]