THE EU has threatened to send your elderly expat relatives home to live with you.
Proposed restrictions on immigration to Britain have been countered by emigration restrictions, meaning the silver-haired monsters usually confined to Skype will instead be inhabiting your spare room.
European Commission boss Manuel Barroso said: “You complain that immigrants don’t integrate, don’t speak the language, and don’t respect your culture while sending us these wrinkled, reactionary sponges of sunlight?
“You moan of health tourists while sticking us with 70-year-olds yet to accept the link between smoking and cancer, and of criminals while literally renaming an area the Costa del Crime.
“Well, they’re all coming back. Oh, and bad news: their villas are worth nothing, so they’re moving in with you.
“Their bigoted breakfast table views on everything from marmalade to CBeebies will be a constant reminder that you did this to yourselves by voting UKIP.”
Returning expatriates will be kept in detainment camps for the first six weeks while they adjust to Britain not being anything like the Daily Mail has told them it is.
Yes it's a fake from the Daily Mash but make me laugh
Could be closer to the truth than we think - UK expat numbers have fallen from 70,000 to 25,000 in the last 10 years over here!
