I haven't even bought it yet 
Well then don't 
If he's really been that rude anticipating the present then frankly perhaps he really doesn't deserve something nice/expensive
How about making him a jar of home made chutney?
I like chutney......... 
Me too ..... if I make any before I depart again for the UK I'll give you a pot 
Mmmmm. . . Must be a ferret joke there somewhere.
Absolutely and totally no idea Mr. MG - everyone know (who know and love Eddie Izzard) that is) that it's Earwigs that make all the chutney in the world
15. Enterprising Insects FACTS
And later on, you realize that bees aren’t so bad, because they only sting you once, and they only sting you as a last resort, which is the equivalent of the “do or die” card in “Escape from Colditz, The Board Game.” And also they make honey, and that’s an amazing thing! Bees make honey?! We’ve known this since we were kids, so we take it absolutely for granted, but bees are insects, furry body, red- not red, yellow and black stripy, hairy leggy, big ears- big eyes! Big ears as well, but they leave them behind when they go out. Got out of that one. Medium size wings, you know- they’re buzzy things, you know, and they make honey?! Which is in your morning, on your breakfast-y toastie, in a jar, kind of- how do they do that?! I mean, do earwigs make chutney? Do spiders make gravy? What is going on? Earwigs going, “Get the chutney under that stone there. (singing) We make chutney all day… It’s an earwig’s life, ain’t it? Put the chutney in there, there we go.” And spiders, saying, “Gravy, yes… no problem at all, mate. We’ll make spider gravy, the way spiders like to make it, yes… Put that cube in there… Hold on, Legs… There you go, mate. Can we get the measuring jar back when you’re finished?” It’s very weird!
