The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread

[Steve]

It's a pity the driver wasn't going any faster.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-4914822/Instant-karma-vandal-caught-smashing-shop-window.html

There was a place in America where inmates had to wear neon pink jumpsuits, even when working in public, as an extra punishment. In this case I think the cretin needs something a little more tailored to his situation...

Shame he wasn't more injured

[Barman]

It's a pity the driver wasn't going any faster.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-4914822/Instant-karma-vandal-caught-smashing-shop-window.html

There was a place in America where inmates had to wear neon pink jumpsuits, even when working in public, as an extra punishment. In this case I think the cretin needs something a little more tailored to his situation...

Little sod, it is a shame the window didn't fall down and cut his head off... 

[Grumpmeister]

If I didn't know better I'd suspect that Darwin had turned into some kind of caped crusader... 

http://metro.co.uk/2017/11/12/suspect-accidentally-shoots-himself-in-penis-after-robbing-hot-dog-restaurant-7072551/

[Darwins Selection]

If I didn't know better I'd suspect that Darwin had turned into some kind of caped crusader... 

http://metro.co.uk/2017/11/12/suspect-accidentally-shoots-himself-in-penis-after-robbing-hot-dog-restaurant-7072551/

A genuine robbery cock-up. 

[Grumpmeister]

Why can't they all be this fucking stupid? 

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-5167305/Paedophile-caught-child-porn-Carphone-Warehouse.html

[Barman]

Why can't they all be this fucking stupid? 

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-5167305/Paedophile-caught-child-porn-Carphone-Warehouse.html

FFS!

[Grumpmeister]

Another possible Mensa candidate who couldnt tell the difference between a taxi and a police car... 

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-5208311/Drug-dealer-1-000-cannabis-mistakes-cop-car-taxi.html

[Barman]

Another possible Mensa candidate who couldnt tell the difference between a taxi and a police car... 

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-5208311/Drug-dealer-1-000-cannabis-mistakes-cop-car-taxi.html

[Grumpmeister]

Here's a late Christmas present for Apey, you could probably get an entire routine out of this dickhead. 

http://metro.co.uk/2017/12/29/guy-gets-penis-stuck-jumping-tube-station-barriers-7191042/

I'll hazard a guess that his prison nickname will be cockblock 

[Barman]

Here's a late Christmas present for Apey, you could probably get an entire routine out of this dickhead. 

http://metro.co.uk/2017/12/29/guy-gets-penis-stuck-jumping-tube-station-barriers-7191042/

I'll hazard a guess that his prison nickname will be cockblock 

[Grumpmeister]

Something tells me this arsehole is hopping mad for making such a stupid mistake... 

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-5252171/Son-32-shoots-foot-crossbow.html

[Barman]

Something tells me this arsehole is hopping mad for making such a stupid mistake... 

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-5252171/Son-32-shoots-foot-crossbow.html

Good grief... 

[Grumpmeister]

I guess you fell out of the stupid bastard tree and hit every branch on the way down... 

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-5259789/Worlds-stupidest-armed-robber.html

[Barman]

I guess you fell out of the stupid bastard tree and hit every branch on the way down... 

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-5259789/Worlds-stupidest-armed-robber.html

 

What a pathetic little piece of shit - threatening the girls with a gun then begging to be let out... 

[Steve]

I guess you fell out of the stupid bastard tree and hit every branch on the way down... 

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-5259789/Worlds-stupidest-armed-robber.html

 

What a pathetic little piece of shit - threatening the girls with a gun then begging to be let out... 

and