The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread

[Grumpmeister]

Break into a restaurant and accidentally lock yourself in the freezer, despite the fact that the walk in ones are designed to be opened from the inside to prevent that happening. 

I'm sure that when I was younger we had a better (or at least more intelligent) class of burglar.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3132594/Burglars-nearly-freeze-death-locking-inside-walk-freezer-raid-Chinese-restaurant-rescued-police.html

[apc2010]

Break into a restaurant and accidentally lock yourself in the freezer, despite the fact that the walk in ones are designed to be opened from the inside to prevent that happening. 

I'm sure that when I was younger we had a better (or at least more intelligent) class of burglar.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3132594/Burglars-nearly-freeze-death-locking-inside-walk-freezer-raid-Chinese-restaurant-rescued-police.html

We were..........

[Miss Creant]

You steal £15k from your employers and end up making yourself look like a bargain basement drag queen.. 

Mr Lody said: 'She began working for the company in March 2012 and it wasn't long before she started stealing from her employer. Perhaps she didn't realise how tightly financial systems are controlled.'

Stuart Newsam, for Farier, said: 'This offending is out of character. She didn't consider the consequences of her actions and thoroughly regrets now what she did.'

So are you saying that if the financial systems weren't as tightly controlled it would have been okay to steal the cash? 

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3050197/Greedy-cashier-stole-15-000-bosses-blew-hotels-opulent-lifestyle-hands-dirty-rules-judge.html

...and thoroughly regrets getting caught....

I have to admit to giving the VP collection box a brief shake occasionally, it's empty, it never rustles of clinks.  When I plucked up enough courage to shove my hands down the back of the sofas in here all I came away with were stale crisp crumbs under me nails, well, I think they were crisp crumbs..............,

[Nick]

It's what you do if you are callled SHanice 

[boogs]

You steal £15k from your employers and end up making yourself look like a bargain basement drag queen.. 

Mr Lody said: 'She began working for the company in March 2012 and it wasn't long before she started stealing from her employer. Perhaps she didn't realise how tightly financial systems are controlled.'

Stuart Newsam, for Farier, said: 'This offending is out of character. She didn't consider the consequences of her actions and thoroughly regrets now what she did.'

So are you saying that if the financial systems weren't as tightly controlled it would have been okay to steal the cash? 

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3050197/Greedy-cashier-stole-15-000-bosses-blew-hotels-opulent-lifestyle-hands-dirty-rules-judge.html

...and thoroughly regrets getting caught....

I have to admit to giving the VP collection box a brief shake occasionally, it's empty, it never rustles of clinks.  When I plucked up enough courage to shove my hands down the back of the sofas in here all I came away with were stale crisp crumbs under me nails, well, I think they were crisp crumbs..............,

  Oh dear Miss C please be careful to sanitise your hands , saw Nick with his leg up on the sofa by the fireplace the other day 

[apc2010]

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3162636/Bungling-robber-tried-disguise-putting-Londis-plastic-carrier-bag-head-left-large-slit-people-through.html

 

[Barman]

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3162636/Bungling-robber-tried-disguise-putting-Londis-plastic-carrier-bag-head-left-large-slit-people-through.html

 

[Grumpmeister]

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3162636/Bungling-robber-tried-disguise-putting-Londis-plastic-carrier-bag-head-left-large-slit-people-through.html

 

It's a great pity that Darwin let this one slip through and he remembered to add the slit... 

[Grumpmeister]

That van belongs to the bastard that sacked me, I'm going to torch it..............oops forgot I was wearing flammable clothing. 

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3238763/CCTV-footage-shows-moment-drunk-arsonist-set-fire-tried-torch-Transit-van-revenge-attack-former-boss.html

[Grumpmeister]

I guess you could say that these two thieves really do have shit for brains.. 

http://www.express.co.uk/news/uk/609998/Crediton-Devon-rug-poo-sewage-youths

[Steve]

I guess you could say that these two thieves really do have shit for brains.. 

http://www.express.co.uk/news/uk/609998/Crediton-Devon-rug-poo-sewage-youths

[Grumpmeister]

I guess you could say that these two thieves really do have shit for brains.. 

http://www.express.co.uk/news/uk/609998/Crediton-Devon-rug-poo-sewage-youths

I could have said they were shit out of luck instead... 

[Grumpmeister]

The standard of criminals in this country has really gone downhill over the years. This moron is going to have to wok harder... 

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3265114/Wok-d-one-Hapless-crook-attempts-rob-Chinese-takeaway-smashed-face-frying-pan.html

[Barman]

The standard of criminals in this country has really gone downhill over the years. This moron is going to have to wok harder... 

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3265114/Wok-d-one-Hapless-crook-attempts-rob-Chinese-takeaway-smashed-face-frying-pan.html

Excerent! 

[Steve]

The standard of criminals in this country has really gone downhill over the years. This moron is going to have to wok harder... 

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3265114/Wok-d-one-Hapless-crook-attempts-rob-Chinese-takeaway-smashed-face-frying-pan.html

Excerent! 

Shame though that the women got injured, he should have got another 4 years for that