The all new "Delights of Scunthorpe" thread

[Nick]

Been bitten by a chipmunk 

[Uncle Mort]

Probably rabid 

[Nick]

 

I have a Band AId

[Uncle Mort]

But does the chipmunk know it's Christmas?

[Barman]

But does the chipmunk know it's Christmas?

 

 

[Nick]

Priceless 

Having dinner and a couple arrive at next table. Both in 40s. He is wearing about 17 layers of clothing and she is dressed to seduce 

It becomes apparent that this is a first date as a result of online assignation 

He tries to impress:

"I work at a gas terminal. If it blew up then everything in a 25 mile radius would be flattened "

I caught her eye 

He proceeded to talk about his ex wife and the fuel consumption of his Vauxhall Corsa 

I caught her eye.

Collapso massivo.

He was baffled.

[Barman]

Priceless 

Having dinner and a couple arrive at next table. Both in 40s. He is wearing about 17 layers of clothing and she is dressed to seduce 

It becomes apparent that this is a first date as a result of online assignation 

He tries to impress:

"I work at a gas terminal. If it blew up then everything in a 25 mile radius would be flattened "

I caught her eye 

He proceeded to talk about his ex wife and the fuel consumption of his Vauxhall Corsa 

I caught her eye.

Collapso massivo.

He was baffled.

Did she have a glass eye then...? 

[Nick]

Mongtardio

[Barman]

Mongtardio

I bet she was.... if her eye kept popping out like..... 

[Steve]

[Baldy]

Priceless 

Having dinner and a couple arrive at next table. Both in 40s. He is wearing about 17 layers of clothing and she is dressed to seduce 

It becomes apparent that this is a first date as a result of online assignation 

He tries to impress:

"I work at a gas terminal. If it blew up then everything in a 25 mile radius would be flattened "

I caught her eye 

He proceeded to talk about his ex wife and the fuel consumption of his Vauxhall Corsa 

I caught her eye.

Collapso massivo.

He was baffled.

Did she have a glass eye then...? 

 

[Nick]

Breakfast was late this morning as all the igniters on the ovens and grills had broken. The chef appeared and appealed for a fag lighter. I lent him mine. He went to the kitchen. There was a low BOOM and some cheering. HE returned my lighter. He had no eyebrows. 

I went back to my room and found a large cat in my bed. Tried to check out and pay but reception was closed. I left a note 

http://www.tripadvisor.co.uk/Hotel_Review-g656897-d593800-Reviews-Arties_Mill_Lodge-Brigg_Lincolnshire_England.html#REVIEWS

[Barman]

Breakfast was late this morning as all the igniters on the ovens and grills had broken. The chef appeared and appealed for a fag lighter. I lent him mine. He went to the kitchen. There was a low BOOM and some cheering. HE returned my lighter. He had no eyebrows. 

I went back to my room and found a large cat in my bed. Tried to check out and pay but reception was closed. I left a note 

http://www.tripadvisor.co.uk/Hotel_Review-g656897-d593800-Reviews-Arties_Mill_Lodge-Brigg_Lincolnshire_England.html#REVIEWS

 

[Steve]

Breakfast was late this morning as all the igniters on the ovens and grills had broken. The chef appeared and appealed for a fag lighter. I lent him mine. He went to the kitchen. There was a low BOOM and some cheering. HE returned my lighter. He had no eyebrows. 

I went back to my room and found a large cat in my bed. Tried to check out and pay but reception was closed. I left a note 

http://www.tripadvisor.co.uk/Hotel_Review-g656897-d593800-Reviews-Arties_Mill_Lodge-Brigg_Lincolnshire_England.html#REVIEWS

[Grumpmeister]

Been bitten by a chipmunk 

 

 

 

http://youtu.be/8yl5d3aV2E4