Mrs goes to college Tues afternoons and eves.... thus I have the puppies to look after.
1 lumpy, hormone ridden, permanently PMT'd teenage female (13 yo) brings herself home via the school bus. Clumps into house at about 3.40 and demands food. Two boys (8 & 6) attend an "After School Club" to play on computers etc. Both Lumpen teenager and 8 yo also attend leisure centre 4 miles away to play Badminton from 5 til 7. So I have to get LT into the car by 4.35 to pick up boys and drive to Rhyl. At 4.35 she is standing at top of stairs screaming that her mother (35 miles away at college) has "SOOOOOOOOO LET ME DOWN ~ SHE HASN'T IRONED THE TROUSERS I WANTED TO WEAR"
Coolly I reply that perhaps she could manage with one of three pairs of jeans or one of two pairs of joggers or even one of six pairs of shorts I know I have bought her in the last three months.....
"NOOOOOOOOOOOO"
OK says me go in yer f*cking knickers but get yer arse into the car.
Disgruntled LT sees a basket of ironing, all pressed and folded sitting on the landing. "They may be in here" and starts dragging freshly pressed clothing out by the handful. She finds the trousers she is seeking and puts them on. Gets into car at 4.45 and we collect boys. I drive like a B out of H to Rhyl part with £6 in fees for the Badminton Club session and return home with 6yo who wants his tea. Cook Pizza (Frozen) and chips for him.
Find that there is no tomato ketchup for him .... who need tk on pizza? .......... Him
He is now eating tea. SWMBO has rung to say she will not be in until 8 and would I mind cooking tonight as she is SOOOOOOOOOO tired. I have now picked up all the ironing and refolded it.
6yo has now eaten the pizza and chips, drunk a glass of lemonade and wants his "pudding" Hand him a Tesco low fat yogurt and a tea spoon with warnings regarding spillage of same on living room carpet as he is also watching TV. Remind him that we have still to go back to Rhyl to collect the other two. Fill rice cooker with Basmati and peel, slice and fry large onion
Dice cold chicken left from yesterday's lunch ... throw all this plus a jar of Pataks into a saucepan and place on low heat.
Now all I have to do is press send on this, load smallest puppy into car, drive to Rhyl, prise 13yo off of whichever male member of the Junior Badminton Club she is attached to, collect disgusted at his sister 8yo from the canteen where he will be sipping expensive water from a bottle. Pay for his water ... drive home advising 13yo old of the dangers of gum disease and other nasties associated with leeching her mouth onto the tongue of greater spotted youth. Listen to 8yo telling me how she doesn't ever want to play Badminton but only goes for the boys. Reassure him that one day it will make sense to him.
Arrive home about 7.30 to find SWMBO has got there already and has gone off the idea (HER idea) of curry and not hungry because she ate at college. 8yo will tell his mother about greater spotted youth and she will have a row with lumpen teenager. 8yo will tell me he doesn't like curry this week and demand beans on toast.
I will give him beans on toast and eat a lot of curry, on my own, because Lumpen Teenager will have been sent to bed by her mother.
This is all predictable because it happens every sodding Tuesday.
Edit: AND NOW IT'S P*SSING DOWN
