Mr Nick takes himself up the Trent and Mersey

[Grumpmeister]

ANother day on me island tomorrow 

The Vicar's daughter is coming for a visit 

And then buying me dinner 

So clueless one and sensible vicar's daughter, all you need is a foul mouthed perverted boozer and you could have a low budget Father Ted reboot... 

[Nick]

Late substitution tomorrow. Newark in the shadow of the castle 

[Steve]

Late substitution tomorrow. Newark in the shadow of the castle 

All sounds very Cafe Mozart 3 O'Clock

[Nick]

Pity it was the wrong lock 

[Barman]

Pity it was the wrong lock 

 

[Nick]

I ended up being given dodgy directions to an industrial estate full or angry gypsies to a place where a bloke who looked alarmingly like Growler talked at me. He eventually left after he wet himself. 

[Barman]

I ended up being given dodgy directions to an industrial estate full or angry gypsies to a place where a bloke who looked alarmingly like Growler talked at me. He eventually left after he wet himself. 

How is Growler...?

[Nick]

Damp.

[Barman]

Damp.

[Nick]

He wet himself and left.

[Barman]

He wet himself and left.

[Grumpmeister]

He wet himself and left.

The Nick effect..... 

[Nick]

Training day on some new locks sorted out ready for the new season, like. 

[Miss Demeanour]

Do you have to be trained for each lock ?

Are the principles / mechanics  not similar  for each one ???

[Nick]

Each one is idiosyncratic. And the one by Newark Castle has some unique features.