« previous next »
Pages: 1 ... 21 22 [23] 24 25 ... 30   Go Down

Author Topic: Mr Nick takes himself up the Trent and Mersey  (Read 47862 times)

0 Members and 8 Guests are viewing this topic.

Offline Nick

  • Needs to get out more...
  • ******
  • Posts: 109344
  • Reputation: -115
Re: Mr Nick takes himself up the Trent and Mersey
« Reply #330 on: August 03, 2018, 06:07:53 PM »
 rubschin: rubschin:
Logged
Warning: May contain Skub
Cat sitter extraordinaire
Semi-professional crocodile

Offline Grumpmeister

  • Power Poster
  • *****
  • Posts: 36501
  • Reputation: -24
  • Prankmeister General
Re: Mr Nick takes himself up the Trent and Mersey
« Reply #331 on: August 03, 2018, 10:33:51 PM »
Quote from: Steve on August 03, 2018, 05:19:57 PM
Quote from: Nick on August 03, 2018, 04:45:22 PM
The weirs on the Trent are protected by booms made of orange plastic barrel-sized floats linked together. They are there to warn boats not to approach and to prevent them going over the weir.

I noticed yesterday that the one at Stoke Bardolph  cloud9: is damaged. I wondered why.

It seems a large cruiser moored above the lock caught fire (the day AFTER I was last there  angel1 ). Fire brigade called but no access along towpath for fire engine, so they rigged up some sort of pump for river water, but couldn't make much of an impact. Fearing for the fate of adjacent boats they cut the blazing boat adrift and it set off for the weir where it lodged on the boom and, well, went BOOM. The damage is phenomenal  :thumbsup: I gather the BOOM as the diesel tank went up was heard about a mile away  razz:

It sounds like a complete clusterfuck!  noooo: smile:
Magnificent, they should have sold tickets

How lucky you have an alibi (or do you?)

That depends on what day they moored up in the first place, it could have been a delayed gubbage...  rubschin:
Logged
The universe is run by the complex interweaving of three elements. Energy, matter, and enlightened self-interest.

Offline Nick

  • Needs to get out more...
  • ******
  • Posts: 109344
  • Reputation: -115
Re: Mr Nick takes himself up the Trent and Mersey
« Reply #332 on: August 05, 2018, 06:10:47 PM »
Found pissed angler casting his line right below the low side gates. Suggested this was not a good plan. He ignored me.

5 minutes later let out a very large dutch barge which snagged on his line making him fall into the river.

He came to me and complained  facepalm:
Logged
Warning: May contain Skub
Cat sitter extraordinaire
Semi-professional crocodile

Offline Steve

  • Power Poster
  • *****
  • Posts: 64249
  • Reputation: -4
Re: Mr Nick takes himself up the Trent and Mersey
« Reply #333 on: August 05, 2018, 08:44:05 PM »
Quote from: Nick on August 05, 2018, 06:10:47 PM
Found pissed angler casting his line right below the low side gates. Suggested this was not a good plan. He ignored me.

5 minutes later let out a very large dutch barge which snagged on his line making him fall into the river.

He came to me and complained  facepalm:
Mr Darwin is getting very lax lately.  Another fuckwith survivor of stupidity could ruin the whole human race
Logged
Well, whatever, nevermind

Offline Grumpmeister

  • Power Poster
  • *****
  • Posts: 36501
  • Reputation: -24
  • Prankmeister General
Re: Mr Nick takes himself up the Trent and Mersey
« Reply #334 on: August 05, 2018, 08:51:39 PM »
Quote from: Steve on August 05, 2018, 08:44:05 PM
Quote from: Nick on August 05, 2018, 06:10:47 PM
Found pissed angler casting his line right below the low side gates. Suggested this was not a good plan. He ignored me.

5 minutes later let out a very large dutch barge which snagged on his line making him fall into the river.

He came to me and complained  facepalm:
Mr Darwin is getting very lax lately.  Another fuckwith survivor of stupidity could ruin the whole human race

The best laid plans of mice and Mr Darwin sir are often bollixed up by the presence of Nick...  noooo:
Logged
The universe is run by the complex interweaving of three elements. Energy, matter, and enlightened self-interest.

Offline Nick

  • Needs to get out more...
  • ******
  • Posts: 109344
  • Reputation: -115
Re: Mr Nick takes himself up the Trent and Mersey
« Reply #335 on: August 05, 2018, 08:54:29 PM »
Quote from: Grumpmeister on August 05, 2018, 08:51:39 PM
Quote from: Steve on August 05, 2018, 08:44:05 PM
Quote from: Nick on August 05, 2018, 06:10:47 PM
Found pissed angler casting his line right below the low side gates. Suggested this was not a good plan. He ignored me.

5 minutes later let out a very large dutch barge which snagged on his line making him fall into the river.

He came to me and complained  facepalm:
Mr Darwin is getting very lax lately.  Another fuckwith survivor of stupidity could ruin the whole human race

The best laid plans of mice and Mr Darwin sir are often bollixed up by the presence of Nick...  noooo:

The barge folk rescued him!  cussing: cussing: cussing:
Logged
Warning: May contain Skub
Cat sitter extraordinaire
Semi-professional crocodile

Offline Nick

  • Needs to get out more...
  • ******
  • Posts: 109344
  • Reputation: -115
Re: Mr Nick takes himself up the Trent and Mersey
« Reply #336 on: August 13, 2018, 06:32:12 PM »
Don't you just hate it when you absent-mindedly put a key in your pocket when you leave somewhere and realise you have to do a 40 mile round trip first thing in the morning to return it  Banghead Banghead Banghead
Logged
Warning: May contain Skub
Cat sitter extraordinaire
Semi-professional crocodile

Offline Steve

  • Power Poster
  • *****
  • Posts: 64249
  • Reputation: -4
Re: Mr Nick takes himself up the Trent and Mersey
« Reply #337 on: August 13, 2018, 10:02:30 PM »
Quote from: Nick on August 13, 2018, 06:32:12 PM
Don't you just hate it when you absent-mindedly put a key in your pocket when you leave somewhere and realise you have to do a 40 mile round trip first thing in the morning to return it  Banghead Banghead Banghead
point:
Logged
Well, whatever, nevermind

Offline Barman

  • Administrator
  • Needs to get out more...
  • *****
  • Posts: 154269
  • Reputation: -50
  • Since 1960...
    • Virtual Pub!
Re: Mr Nick takes himself up the Trent and Mersey
« Reply #338 on: August 14, 2018, 05:36:29 AM »
Quote from: Steve on August 13, 2018, 10:02:30 PM
Quote from: Nick on August 13, 2018, 06:32:12 PM
Don't you just hate it when you absent-mindedly put a key in your pocket when you leave somewhere and realise you have to do a 40 mile round trip first thing in the morning to return it  Banghead Banghead Banghead
point:
point: point:
Logged
Pro Skub  Thumbs:

Offline Darwins Selection

  • Power Poster
  • *****
  • Posts: 39138
  • Reputation: 6
  • I mostly despair
Re: Mr Nick takes himself up the Trent and Mersey
« Reply #339 on: August 14, 2018, 07:45:21 PM »
Quote from: Barman on August 14, 2018, 05:36:29 AM
Quote from: Steve on August 13, 2018, 10:02:30 PM
Quote from: Nick on August 13, 2018, 06:32:12 PM
Don't you just hate it when you absent-mindedly put a key in your pocket when you leave somewhere and realise you have to do a 40 mile round trip first thing in the morning to return it  Banghead Banghead Banghead
point:
point: point:
point: point: point:
Logged
I mostly despair

Offline Nick

  • Needs to get out more...
  • ******
  • Posts: 109344
  • Reputation: -115
Re: Mr Nick takes himself up the Trent and Mersey
« Reply #340 on: August 21, 2018, 05:47:08 PM »
Back!  NickSick

Near disaster today. The locks I work on are very big and are controlled hydraulically. They also have traffic lights!

Today I had five very large (sea-going) fibre glass cruisers (c. £150000 each) in the lock. I had set a red light for a large steel Dutch Barge approaching from the other direction. The deaf, blind and senile clown in the barge IGNORED the red light and attempted to enter the lock as the 5 cruisers were coming out  scared2: scared2: scared2: scared2:

People in the lock were actually screaming.  eeek:

I told them all to stop and told him to reverse. They went off and I had a VERY LONG AND STERN CONVERSATION with barge man  eveilgrin:

Logged
Warning: May contain Skub
Cat sitter extraordinaire
Semi-professional crocodile

Offline Steve

  • Power Poster
  • *****
  • Posts: 64249
  • Reputation: -4
Re: Mr Nick takes himself up the Trent and Mersey
« Reply #341 on: August 21, 2018, 05:54:11 PM »
Quote from: Nick on August 21, 2018, 05:47:08 PM
Back!  NickSick

Near disaster today. The locks I work on are very big and are controlled hydraulically. They also have traffic lights!

Today I had five very large (sea-going) fibre glass cruisers (c. £150000 each) in the lock. I had set a red light for a large steel Dutch Barge approaching from the other direction. The deaf, blind and senile clown in the barge IGNORED the red light and attempted to enter the lock as the 5 cruisers were coming out  scared2: scared2: scared2: scared2:

People in the lock were actually screaming.  eeek:

I told them all to stop and told him to reverse. They went off and I had a VERY LONG AND STERN CONVERSATION with barge man  eveilgrin:
rubschin:  ratarsed bargeman?
Logged
Well, whatever, nevermind

Offline Nick

  • Needs to get out more...
  • ******
  • Posts: 109344
  • Reputation: -115
Re: Mr Nick takes himself up the Trent and Mersey
« Reply #342 on: August 21, 2018, 06:02:29 PM »
Stupid! He claimed there should have been an explanatory sign by the red light to clarify that it meant STOP  facepalm:
Logged
Warning: May contain Skub
Cat sitter extraordinaire
Semi-professional crocodile

Offline Steve

  • Power Poster
  • *****
  • Posts: 64249
  • Reputation: -4
Re: Mr Nick takes himself up the Trent and Mersey
« Reply #343 on: August 21, 2018, 06:20:57 PM »
Quote from: Nick on August 21, 2018, 06:02:29 PM
Stupid! He claimed there should have been an explanatory sign by the red light to clarify that it meant STOP  facepalm:

Well if he was Dutch he might have thought it meant this:

Logged
Well, whatever, nevermind

Offline Nick

  • Needs to get out more...
  • ******
  • Posts: 109344
  • Reputation: -115
Re: Mr Nick takes himself up the Trent and Mersey
« Reply #344 on: August 21, 2018, 06:25:42 PM »
He was a brummy  Banghead Banghead Banghead
Logged
Warning: May contain Skub
Cat sitter extraordinaire
Semi-professional crocodile
Pages: 1 ... 21 22 [23] 24 25 ... 30   Go Up
« previous next »