Mr Nick takes himself up the Trent and Mersey

[Nick]

 

[Grumpmeister]

The weirs on the Trent are protected by booms made of orange plastic barrel-sized floats linked together. They are there to warn boats not to approach and to prevent them going over the weir.

I noticed yesterday that the one at Stoke Bardolph  is damaged. I wondered why.

It seems a large cruiser moored above the lock caught fire (the day AFTER I was last there  ). Fire brigade called but no access along towpath for fire engine, so they rigged up some sort of pump for river water, but couldn't make much of an impact. Fearing for the fate of adjacent boats they cut the blazing boat adrift and it set off for the weir where it lodged on the boom and, well, went BOOM. The damage is phenomenal  I gather the BOOM as the diesel tank went up was heard about a mile away 

It sounds like a complete clusterfuck! 

Magnificent, they should have sold tickets

How lucky you have an alibi (or do you?)

That depends on what day they moored up in the first place, it could have been a delayed gubbage... 

[Nick]

Found pissed angler casting his line right below the low side gates. Suggested this was not a good plan. He ignored me.

5 minutes later let out a very large dutch barge which snagged on his line making him fall into the river.

He came to me and complained 

[Steve]

Found pissed angler casting his line right below the low side gates. Suggested this was not a good plan. He ignored me.

5 minutes later let out a very large dutch barge which snagged on his line making him fall into the river.

He came to me and complained 

Mr Darwin is getting very lax lately.  Another fuckwith survivor of stupidity could ruin the whole human race

[Grumpmeister]

Found pissed angler casting his line right below the low side gates. Suggested this was not a good plan. He ignored me.

5 minutes later let out a very large dutch barge which snagged on his line making him fall into the river.

He came to me and complained 

Mr Darwin is getting very lax lately.  Another fuckwith survivor of stupidity could ruin the whole human race

The best laid plans of mice and Mr Darwin sir are often bollixed up by the presence of Nick... 

[Nick]

Found pissed angler casting his line right below the low side gates. Suggested this was not a good plan. He ignored me.

5 minutes later let out a very large dutch barge which snagged on his line making him fall into the river.

He came to me and complained 

Mr Darwin is getting very lax lately.  Another fuckwith survivor of stupidity could ruin the whole human race

The best laid plans of mice and Mr Darwin sir are often bollixed up by the presence of Nick... 

The barge folk rescued him! 

[Nick]

Don't you just hate it when you absent-mindedly put a key in your pocket when you leave somewhere and realise you have to do a 40 mile round trip first thing in the morning to return it 

[Steve]

Don't you just hate it when you absent-mindedly put a key in your pocket when you leave somewhere and realise you have to do a 40 mile round trip first thing in the morning to return it 

[Barman]

Don't you just hate it when you absent-mindedly put a key in your pocket when you leave somewhere and realise you have to do a 40 mile round trip first thing in the morning to return it 

[Darwins Selection]

Don't you just hate it when you absent-mindedly put a key in your pocket when you leave somewhere and realise you have to do a 40 mile round trip first thing in the morning to return it 

[Nick]

Back! 

Near disaster today. The locks I work on are very big and are controlled hydraulically. They also have traffic lights!

Today I had five very large (sea-going) fibre glass cruisers (c. £150000 each) in the lock. I had set a red light for a large steel Dutch Barge approaching from the other direction. The deaf, blind and senile clown in the barge IGNORED the red light and attempted to enter the lock as the 5 cruisers were coming out 

People in the lock were actually screaming. 

I told them all to stop and told him to reverse. They went off and I had a VERY LONG AND STERN CONVERSATION with barge man 

[Steve]

Back! 

Near disaster today. The locks I work on are very big and are controlled hydraulically. They also have traffic lights!

Today I had five very large (sea-going) fibre glass cruisers (c. £150000 each) in the lock. I had set a red light for a large steel Dutch Barge approaching from the other direction. The deaf, blind and senile clown in the barge IGNORED the red light and attempted to enter the lock as the 5 cruisers were coming out 

People in the lock were actually screaming. 

I told them all to stop and told him to reverse. They went off and I had a VERY LONG AND STERN CONVERSATION with barge man 

  ratarsed bargeman?

[Nick]

Stupid! He claimed there should have been an explanatory sign by the red light to clarify that it meant STOP 

[Steve]

Stupid! He claimed there should have been an explanatory sign by the red light to clarify that it meant STOP 

Well if he was Dutch he might have thought it meant this:

[Nick]

He was a brummy