If you are mildly unhappy with your GP because he is fanatically teetotal and advises you about your alcohol intake DO NOT call said GP when you are pissed, tell him you are a retired journalist and threaten to trash him in the local press and also take him to the GMC. Also, do not tell him you were at school with Harold Shipman (which you were
) and compare your GP to him.
Don't be a twat. Don't be like Nod