Nod's Adventures

[Grumpmeister]

Nod has called on me for some advice and I have given the most excellent advice there is 

On Monday, his cleaner is taking him to help her with her wedding dress fitting. 
Dress costs £15000   (she was a big winner on the Lottery)

Nod asks me what he should do or say

I advise:

1. Tell her it looks wonderful and really suits her
2. Insist on looking at the back of the dress (which she cannot see in a mirror) and suggest to her/the dressmaker that the bit across her shoulders is too tight/too loose (it has to be on or the other)

Job done 

Nod made notes
I am a genius 

Cleaner : "Does my bum look big in this?"

Nod (panicking and referring to the notes then using the closest match): "It's too tight across"

 

[Nick]

 

[Grumpmeister]

I'm sure that retribution will be quick and relatively painless once he explains you gave him the advice... 

[Steve]

Nod has called on me for some advice and I have given the most excellent advice there is 

On Monday, his cleaner is taking him to help her with her wedding dress fitting. 
Dress costs £15000   (she was a big winner on the Lottery)

Nod asks me what he should do or say

I advise:

1. Tell her it looks wonderful and really suits her
2. Insist on looking at the back of the dress (which she cannot see in a mirror) and suggest to her/the dressmaker that the bit across her shoulders is too tight/too loose (it has to be on or the other)

Job done 

Nod made notes
I am a genius 

[Nick]

I recall helping Mrs Nick choose a new dress once. I told her the one she chose made her look like a "beached whale". It did! Fortunately, the 8 year old the Boy was with me and he agreed. I think he said "Walrus".

[apc2010]

Nod has called on me for some advice and I have given the most excellent advice there is 

On Monday, his cleaner is taking him to help her with her wedding dress fitting. 
Dress costs £15000   (she was a big winner on the Lottery)

Nod asks me what he should do or say

I advise:

1. Tell her it looks wonderful and really suits her
2. Insist on looking at the back of the dress (which she cannot see in a mirror) and suggest to her/the dressmaker that the bit across her shoulders is too tight/too loose (it has to be on or the other)

Job done 

Nod made notes
I am a genius 

Why is she still a cleaner .....

[Barman]

Nod has called on me for some advice and I have given the most excellent advice there is 

On Monday, his cleaner is taking him to help her with her wedding dress fitting. 
Dress costs £15000   (she was a big winner on the Lottery)

Nod asks me what he should do or say

I advise:

1. Tell her it looks wonderful and really suits her
2. Insist on looking at the back of the dress (which she cannot see in a mirror) and suggest to her/the dressmaker that the bit across her shoulders is too tight/too loose (it has to be on or the other)

Job done 

Nod made notes
I am a genius 

Why is she still a cleaner .....

Scrubber... 

[Nick]

She jacked in her job, bought a nice house and big Merc. She got bored. She does 2 hours a day (£10 an hour) of cleaning to get her out of the house.  She seems to deal mainly with hard luck cases    She takes food to Nod. He is not keen on her two pit bull terriers.

[apc2010]

She jacked in her job, bought a nice house and big Merc. She got bored. She does 2 hours a day (£10 an hour) of cleaning to get her out of the house.  She seems to deal mainly with hard luck cases    She takes food to Nod. He is not keen on her two pit bull terriers.

 

[Miss Demeanour]

And she has no other friends or family that she would take to a dress fitting to get an opinion from ?? 

[Grumpmeister]

And she has no other friends or family that she would take to a dress fitting to get an opinion from ?? 

One last fling you say...? 

[Nick]

And she has no other friends or family that she would take to a dress fitting to get an opinion from ?? 

It's inexplicable. Full report tomorrow 

[Nick]

Nod had hoped, as the fitting was at 12, to make "lunch" by 12.45.

Clothes shopping. With wimmin. 45 minutes 

He is an idiot

For a wedding dress. 45 minutes? 

At 1.45 he texted to say that his feal job was to CARRY the dress from the makers to the cleaner's house in the poshest part of Nottingham (about a mile, with parking limitations everywhere). It is pouring with rain and he is soaked and knackered. She gave him a lift home in her other car (the Porsche) which he had trouble climbing out of

[Barman]

Nod had hoped, as the fitting was at 12, to make "lunch" by 12.45.

Clothes shopping. With wimmin. 45 minutes 

He is an idiot

For a wedding dress. 45 minutes? 

At 1.45 he texted to say that his feal job was to CARRY the dress from the makers to the cleaner's house in the poshest part of Nottingham (about a mile, with parking limitations everywhere). It is pouring with rain and he is soaked and knackered. She gave him a lift home in her other car (the Porsche) which he had trouble climbing out of

 

[Steve]

Nod had hoped, as the fitting was at 12, to make "lunch" by 12.45.

Clothes shopping. With wimmin. 45 minutes 

He is an idiot

For a wedding dress. 45 minutes? 

At 1.45 he texted to say that his feal job was to CARRY the dress from the makers to the cleaner's house in the poshest part of Nottingham (about a mile, with parking limitations everywhere). It is pouring with rain and he is soaked and knackered. She gave him a lift home in her other car (the Porsche) which he had trouble climbing out of