First boat of the year

Me: Go sharp right into the main channel as you leave the lock to avoid the new sandbar
SP: I know about that thanks
Man goes dead ahead our of lock and grounds the boat.

I deal with other things and, after an hour, wander down to see how he is getting on. He is 10 yards or so out in the river
SP: Can you help me?
Me: What do you suggest I do?
SP; Ummmmmmmmmmmm....
Me: You can call Newark Marina and they will send a tug
SP: That will cost money!
Me: Or call Canal and River Rescue
SP: That will cost money!
Me: I can offer you no further advice
SP: How long until the river gets higher?
Me: Maybe a week, maybe more....
I left 5 hours later. He was still there

I think Mrs SP was giving him some GBH of the earhole........