Poor Bloody Farmers

[Snoopy]

After sitting (well standing more like) all day waiting the promised delivery of a bidet failed to show up today ~ Courier company have lost it! Me farmers will have to wait another day. 

[Berek]

 

COCK WAVING ALERT, COCK WAVING ALERT !!

[Darwins Selection]

After sitting (well standing more like) all day waiting the promised delivery of a bidet

Dare we ask how you broke the last one?

[Snoopy]

Not broke ~ haven't had one but the recommendation was made. I obtained some quotes which were, as DP would put it, eye watering (as the Farmers can be ) Anyway had a problem with a dripping pipe in the bathroom and contacted a new local plumber. He fixed the drip in naught seconds flat and we were chatting about the size of the bathroom. I mentioned the bidet and he gave a very good price for fitting it (which involves moving the sink and associated plumbing) and then told me of a web-site where I could buy a good bidet cheaply. The same site also did taps so I ordered a bidet and new taps for it, the sink and bath so that all match. Total price under £130 and he has quoted £120 to fit all. So from the original quote of five years ago which was close to £700 down to £250 I am well pleased ~ or I will be when UPS find where they've put it. 

So no Cock waving .... simply an attempt to stop walking like John Wayne and at a sensible price.

[Sour Puss]

simply an attempt to stop walking like John Wayne and at a sensible price.

Way too much info! 

[Darwins Selection]

. .walking like John Wayne . .

Not crushed nuts as well, dear oh dear.

[Snoopy]

. .walking like John Wayne . .

Not crushed nuts as well, dear oh dear.

No I'll just have the sprinkles ~ Thanks

[Snoopy]

simply an attempt to stop walking like John Wayne and at a sensible price.

Way too much info! 

Age and too many years of irregular working patterns I'm afraid ~ gets us all in the end.

Anyway I don't wave my c*ck ~ it ain't big enough (see beginning phrase of previous sentence)

[Bar Wench]

I have heard that they can be lasered off or alternatively small elastic bands placed at the base of the chalfont and the blood supply is cut off and they just pop off one day. Wouldn't that be an easier solution then having to sluice your ring out every day?

[Snoopy]

I have heard that they can be lasered off or alternatively small elastic bands placed at the base of the chalfont and the blood supply is cut off and they just pop off one day. Wouldn't that be an easier solution then having to sluice your ring out every day?

There are also ladies in the house who have asked for a bidet ever since encountering them in France years ago.
The Farmers are a bit of an excuse really ~ make for a better story, they are real enough but not bad enough to require action. The real truth is I am a bit freaky about personal hygiene and bathe every morning and shower every night. The expression sluice your ring out every day has much to do with it. All my baths drives the wife nuts so this may be a way of solving many problems ~ anyway it adds value to the house and that's what it's all about in the end.

[Barman]

I have heard that they can be lasered off or alternatively small elastic bands placed at the base of the chalfont and the blood supply is cut off and they just pop off one day. Wouldn't that be an easier solution then having to sluice your ring out every day?

[Berek]

[Barman]

There?s a new avatar for somebody? 

[Bar Wench]

 

 

[Barman]

 

What?