So yesterday we had an appt with Oncologist. Woman sitting down in office with file notes in front of her etc. So we sit down . No introductions – she launches in with the “ Can you tell me your appraisal of what has happened so far and what you think are your results “
So the man gives a quick summary of what we think we know. Then she starts to carefully and slowly repeat this whilst looking at the paperwork and pulling more concerned faces. She looks at me and ask me what is wrong and so I simply say that I am obviously waiting for her to deliver some bad news as she seems to be leading up to this .
She doesn’t respond. Start going through the surgery results and talking of cells that could become active in the lymph nodes etc. Then starts going on about chemo and the implications and 50% chance of return without and 25% return if have chemo etc.
There was nothing positive in her demeanour at all . Then the nurse says oh I will go and get the Oncologist now !!! WTF - so you would presume she is in training - not that she clarified anything at this point. Along comes the Oncologist and goes through stuff in a bit more detail – but my god we both came away yesterday feeling so low with all sorts of fears and dreads bubbling away.
Today we had an appt with the surgeon who performed op. She gave a completely different perspective and was focusing on the positives and next steps and making it all manageable etc.
I totally appreciate they have to go through the whole spectrum of scenarios to ensure you are fully informed but what you can’t teach is ‘bedside manner’
