Operation Fireplace?

[Bar Wench]

you need to ditch the 1960's unit against the right wall..

Mrs. Barman will most surely kill you for that comment... 

Never NEVER judge a womans taste in furniture for that way lies ruin. My Brother told me that my living room was beginning to look like a Granny threw up in it. He didn't get pudding. 

[Snoopy]

My Tiler has failed to contact or to return today as promised. Job is only two thirds done. I have not paid him so he'll have to come back if he wants his money.

[Barman]

I?ve just had this conversation with the gas fire people?

Me: You only delivered two gas bottles instead of three and no cupboard for the bottles either. Therefore I?m holding back ?300.

Shop: We only ever give two bottles

Me: the manager specifically told me that we?d get three and that when two were empty I?d call you and you?d deliver replacements.

Shop: Well we only bring two.

Me: The manager definitely said three ? several times.

Shop: Do you want me to order you another one then?

Me: Well, yes, if that is how it normally works.

Shop: Okay then.

Me: Hold, on a moment tho? how many gas bottles does the gas bottle cupboard hold?

Shop: Two

Me: 

[Misunderstood]

Nice to see it all coming together grandly then.....

When we wuz on bottled gaz we used to have two in the box and one working.   They wouldn't let us hook up to one in the box

'case it blew up or summat... 

NOT that that's gonna happen to us - of course...   

[Snoopy]

I?ve just had this conversation with the gas fire people?

Me: You only delivered two gas bottles instead of three and no cupboard for the bottles either. Therefore I?m holding back ?300.

Shop: We only ever give two bottles

Me: the manager specifically told me that we?d get three and that when two were empty I?d call you and you?d deliver replacements.

Shop: Well we only bring two.

Me: The manager definitely said three ? several times.

Shop: Do you want me to order you another one then?

Me: Well, yes, if that is how it normally works.

Shop: Okay then.

Me: Hold, on a moment tho? how many gas bottles does the gas bottle cupboard hold?

Shop: Two

Me: 

So it's not proper gas then .............. That explains much.

[Bar Wench]

Have we up to date pictures of the disaster area?

[Barman]

Have we up to date pictures of the disaster area?

All in good time, all in good time...

And no, it's not proper gas - nobody has proper gas in Cyprus.

Our central heating runs off a 500 litre tank that a truck comes round and fills? must be the most environmentally unfriendly system on the planet? -  oh except most Cypriots heat their homes with diesel.

Unfortunately, the 500 litre tank is on the opposite side of the house to the new fire hence the 35Kg gas cylinders...

[Bar Wench]

We've always used little diddy cylinders in Spain. No one has the large tanks.

Go and take a picture. I want to see before the weekend! 

[Misunderstood]

A trench, you say   

Maybe you can try going a little deeper.....  might find gas ... get rich - invite friends....

That sort of thing...

Not Nick obviously.

[Barman]

We've always used little diddy cylinders in Spain. No one has the large tanks.

Go and take a picture. I want to see before the weekend! 

We've got the 20Kg cylinders for the gas cooker and the BBQ, plus the 500 litre tank for the central heating and now two 35Kg tanks for the gas fire? 

[Misunderstood]

Do you smoke?

[Bar Wench]

Do you smoke?

Like a chimley! 

[Snoopy]

We've always used little diddy cylinders in Spain. No one has the large tanks.

Go and take a picture. I want to see before the weekend! 

We've got the 20Kg cylinders for the gas cooker and the BBQ, plus the 500 litre tank for the central heating and now two 35Kg tanks for the gas fire? 

That is going to be one hell of a bang if you've f***** it up BM.

[Barman]

[Misunderstood]

I fear ill tidings approaching. 

Landlady arriving

Site blowing up

House blowing up

Cyprus denying all knowledge of BM

Syria blamed.

Landlady shouting at ashes!