Operation Fireplace?

[Bar Wench]

Poor Landlady. 

Indeed...

 

[Barman]

Poor Landlady. 

Indeed...

 

Do wha? 

[Barman]

Here you go, all the ceiling painted (lovely job) and ready to start construction of the new chimney breast now. 

[Snoopy]

 

[Barman]

Thank you... appreciate a quality job when you see one eh? 

[Darwins Selection]

Now I am no builder, but why would you paint the ceiling before you start the heavy building work?

1. The fresh paint will get dust etc all over it.

2. You will gouge or chip some bits during the construction and have to paint it again.

Still, I am sure you wouldn't tell me how to plough a field.

[Bar Wench]

Oh he's a funny one. 

I agree with DS, you seem to have it all back to front. Although gouging and chipping do seem to be the order of the week. 

[Barman]

Good points well made...

Except the new chimney breast will be in studwork and plasterboard and I had to ensure that the ceiling around it was perfect before that bit started?

What could possibly go wrong? 

[Snoopy]

I assume this chimney will never be used for anything other than "decorative" effect.
Who is your buildings adviser ~ wouldn't be a certain Mr Nick would it?

[Barman]

Wrong!

It is a gas fire so the flue will be required... 

[Snoopy]

Where is that "suck teeth" emoticon when you need it?
Wouldn't pass the Buildings Regs mate.

[Barman]

Seethe flue sticking out of the wall... a cast concrete thing?

The gas fire connects into that.

[smug grin emoticon]

The studwork just covers it all up... 

[Snoopy]

Seethe flue sticking out of the wall... a cast concrete thing?

The gas fire connects into that.

[smug grin emoticon]

The studwork just covers it all up... 

Yeah but you've gorra have a balanced flue these days ~ to reduce yer emmisions, an' then there's yer heat dangers.
Fire gets 'ot, studwork gets 'ot and before yer knows it ~ WHOOMPH 
I mean ~ stands ter reason don't it.

[Barman]

Seethe flue sticking out of the wall... a cast concrete thing?

The gas fire connects into that.

[smug grin emoticon]

The studwork just covers it all up... 

Yeah but you've gorra have a balanced flue these days ~ to reduce yer emmisions, an' then there's yer heat dangers.
Fire gets 'ot, studwork gets 'ot and before yer knows it ~ WHOOMPH 
I mean ~ stands ter reason don't it.

Ah... you're confusing Cyprus with Rules and regulations crazy UK.

I don?t need a balanced flue here; I can get away with what I like.

A balanced flue would be more efficient but I worked out that to have the fire that worked with the balanced flue and have the balanced flue put in would take me about ten years to get my money back?

Same when I bought my truck ? the ?polluting? version that didn?t meet the latest EU emissions regulations was ?600 cheaper.

[Snoopy]

Seethe flue sticking out of the wall... a cast concrete thing?

The gas fire connects into that.

[smug grin emoticon]

The studwork just covers it all up... 

Yeah but you've gorra have a balanced flue these days ~ to reduce yer emmisions, an' then there's yer heat dangers.
Fire gets 'ot, studwork gets 'ot and before yer knows it ~ WHOOMPH 
I mean ~ stands ter reason don't it.

Ah... you're confusing Cyprus with Rules and regulations crazy UK.

I don’t need a balanced flue here; I can get away with what I like.

A balanced flue would be more efficient but I worked out that to have the fire that worked with the balanced flue and have the balanced flue put in would take me about ten years to get my money back…

Same when I bought my truck – the ‘polluting’ version that didn’t meet the latest EU emissions regulations was £600 cheaper.

Tell me about it!
During the kitchen revamp (ongoing saga) we decided to move the cooker about 12 inches to the left. This would be a safer place as we felt it was a bit too close to the doorway and with children etc etc ..... Well the chosen position placed the cooker squarely under the electrics box marked "Cooker". So that had to be moved. Well it's an old house so a new box would be a good idea and help to make the kitchen look updated anyway. Can I do this simple task? No I cannot. I have to employ a "qualified" electrician who has done the right courses and when he has done the job he gives me a certificate to produce if and when I wish to sell the house because the buyer's surveyor must be able to see the certificate proving that the job was carried out by a "qualified" person. £80 quid to fit a new box (costing under a tenner) ..... but because it is a "new installation" I have to pay. The electrician who I employed tells me he had to pay over £500 to "qualify" to do this simple task and has to retrain at college every few years to "maintain his skills" or his registration will be cancelled.

Life is too short to detail all the performance to get a new oil fired boiler and oil storage tank installed recently. I know I mentioned some bits of it but the whole story would make a book. I now have an arch lever file full of fvcking certificates in case we ever want to sell.