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Author Topic: Nick's all new 2022 lock keeping adventures and bonkers boaters thread  (Read 3477 times)

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Offline Steve

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Re: Nick's all new 2022 lock keeping adventures and bonkers boaters thread
« Reply #75 on: July 24, 2022, 09:54:29 PM »
Quote from: apc2010 on July 24, 2022, 08:19:08 PM
Quote from: Nick on July 24, 2022, 06:49:20 PM
Just got home  evil:

What a day.

1. Very windy so I did not expect it to be busy. Instead, constant stream of boats  NickSick

2. A HUGE barge (posh sort) and a posh narrow boat were going through the lock when the Narrow Boat guy let go of a rope. Narrow boat smashed into the barge with a bang that could have shattered windows. Damage to both boats and of course, paperwork from me for CRT to explain what had gone one.

3. Then a lot of shouting. A hydraulic hose burst and sprayed a passing HORSE with hot hydraulic fluid  eeek:  Mass hysteria and NOT my fault

Lock out of action with boats waiting so called the boss. Engineer dispatched to fix problem

Fixed at 7.00  NickSick

Horse had to be hosed down  noooo:

"NOT my fault" ........... Thumbs:       whistle:
:thumbsup: :thumbsup:
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Offline Barman

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Re: Nick's all new 2022 lock keeping adventures and bonkers boaters thread
« Reply #76 on: July 25, 2022, 03:04:49 AM »
Quote from: apc2010 on July 24, 2022, 08:19:08 PM
Quote from: Nick on July 24, 2022, 06:49:20 PM
Just got home  evil:

What a day.

1. Very windy so I did not expect it to be busy. Instead, constant stream of boats  NickSick

2. A HUGE barge (posh sort) and a posh narrow boat were going through the lock when the Narrow Boat guy let go of a rope. Narrow boat smashed into the barge with a bang that could have shattered windows. Damage to both boats and of course, paperwork from me for CRT to explain what had gone one.

3. Then a lot of shouting. A hydraulic hose burst and sprayed a passing HORSE with hot hydraulic fluid  eeek:  Mass hysteria and NOT my fault

Lock out of action with boats waiting so called the boss. Engineer dispatched to fix problem

Fixed at 7.00  NickSick

Horse had to be hosed down  noooo:

"NOT my fault" ........... Thumbs:       whistle:


A big boy did it and ran away... Probably...  whistle:
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Online Nick

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Re: Nick's all new 2022 lock keeping adventures and bonkers boaters thread
« Reply #77 on: September 04, 2022, 05:24:54 PM »
Got paired with a novice lock keeper today who was an utter twat and then had an unwelcome visit from some happy clappy in some fucking travelling religious CHAPEL!!!  Banghead Banghead Banghead



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Offline apc2010

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Re: Nick's all new 2022 lock keeping adventures and bonkers boaters thread
« Reply #78 on: September 04, 2022, 07:50:31 PM »
Quote from: Nick on September 04, 2022, 05:24:54 PM
Got paired with a novice lock keeper today who was an utter twat and then had an unwelcome visit from some happy clappy in some fucking travelling religious CHAPEL!!!  Banghead Banghead Banghead




Could he not part the waters himself .... rubschin:
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Offline Grumpmeister

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Re: Nick's all new 2022 lock keeping adventures and bonkers boaters thread
« Reply #79 on: September 04, 2022, 07:53:57 PM »
Quote from: Nick on September 04, 2022, 05:24:54 PM
Got paired with a novice lock keeper today who was an utter twat and then had an unwelcome visit from some happy clappy in some fucking travelling religious CHAPEL!!!  Banghead Banghead Banghead






 whistle:
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Offline Just One More

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Re: Nick's all new 2022 lock keeping adventures and bonkers boaters thread
« Reply #80 on: September 04, 2022, 08:46:27 PM »
Quote from: apc2010 on September 04, 2022, 07:50:31 PM
Quote from: Nick on September 04, 2022, 05:24:54 PM
Got paired with a novice lock keeper today who was an utter twat and then had an unwelcome visit from some happy clappy in some fucking travelling religious CHAPEL!!!  Banghead Banghead Banghead




Could he not part the waters himself .... rubschin:

 lol: lol: lol:
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Offline Grumpmeister

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Re: Nick's all new 2022 lock keeping adventures and bonkers boaters thread
« Reply #81 on: September 04, 2022, 11:48:57 PM »
Quote from: apc2010 on September 04, 2022, 07:50:31 PM
Quote from: Nick on September 04, 2022, 05:24:54 PM
Got paired with a novice lock keeper today who was an utter twat and then had an unwelcome visit from some happy clappy in some fucking travelling religious CHAPEL!!!  Banghead Banghead Banghead




Could he not part the waters himself .... rubschin:

Nick is just pissed off that he didn't turn the water into wine  whistle:
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Offline Steve

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Re: Nick's all new 2022 lock keeping adventures and bonkers boaters thread
« Reply #82 on: September 04, 2022, 11:50:22 PM »
Quote from: Just One More on September 04, 2022, 08:46:27 PM
Quote from: apc2010 on September 04, 2022, 07:50:31 PM
Quote from: Nick on September 04, 2022, 05:24:54 PM
Got paired with a novice lock keeper today who was an utter twat and then had an unwelcome visit from some happy clappy in some fucking travelling religious CHAPEL!!!  Banghead Banghead Banghead




Could he not part the waters himself .... rubschin:

 lol: lol: lol:
  lol: lol: lol: lol:
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Online Nick

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Re: Nick's all new 2022 lock keeping adventures and bonkers boaters thread
« Reply #83 on: September 10, 2022, 06:38:14 PM »
Nice boat. Early 30s? All wood.

Checked or the little plaque on the cabin door and there it was!

"Dunkirk, 1940"  cloud9:

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Offline Just One More

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Re: Nick's all new 2022 lock keeping adventures and bonkers boaters thread
« Reply #84 on: September 10, 2022, 08:37:33 PM »
Quote from: Nick on September 10, 2022, 06:38:14 PM
Nice boat. Early 30s? All wood.

Checked or the little plaque on the cabin door and there it was!

"Dunkirk, 1940"  cloud9:


 cloud9: cloud9:
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Offline Steve

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Re: Nick's all new 2022 lock keeping adventures and bonkers boaters thread
« Reply #85 on: September 11, 2022, 09:00:07 AM »
Quote from: Just One More on September 10, 2022, 08:37:33 PM
Quote from: Nick on September 10, 2022, 06:38:14 PM
Nice boat. Early 30s? All wood.

Checked or the little plaque on the cabin door and there it was!

"Dunkirk, 1940"  cloud9:


 cloud9: cloud9:
:thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup:
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Online Nick

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Re: Nick's all new 2022 lock keeping adventures and bonkers boaters thread
« Reply #86 on: September 11, 2022, 04:57:22 PM »
Boaters out in force this weekend :thumbsup:

Wine and chocs and stuff from several of the regulars cloud9:
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Offline Steve

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Re: Nick's all new 2022 lock keeping adventures and bonkers boaters thread
« Reply #87 on: September 11, 2022, 07:40:18 PM »
Quote from: Nick on September 11, 2022, 04:57:22 PM
Boaters out in force this weekend :thumbsup:

Wine and chocs and stuff from several of the regulars cloud9:
:thumbsup:
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Online Nick

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Re: Nick's all new 2022 lock keeping adventures and bonkers boaters thread
« Reply #88 on: September 17, 2022, 05:14:40 PM »
Lock keeper jokes

ONE BOAT ALL DAY. Twas the NB Omnia

Lock keeper one stumbles over the name on the radio (VHF channel 74) so every boat within 15 miles can hear it

"NB OM, um, OMANAI, OMIUM just leaving HP

Boater "OMNIA!"

30 minutes later NB calls me

"YES NB AMMONIA, I CAN SEE YOU"

Boater "OMNIA!"

Gunthorpe, NB AMMONIA en route to you"

Boater "OMNIA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

NB ONOMATOPOEIA I CAN SEE YOUR APPROACH

Boater "OMNIA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!. ARE YOU ALL DEAF AND BLIND??"

How we laffed redface:


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Offline Barman

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Re: Nick's all new 2022 lock keeping adventures and bonkers boaters thread
« Reply #89 on: September 18, 2022, 07:32:02 AM »
Quote from: Nick on September 17, 2022, 05:14:40 PM
Lock keeper jokes

ONE BOAT ALL DAY. Twas the NB Omnia

Lock keeper one stumbles over the name on the radio (VHF channel 74) so every boat within 15 miles can hear it

"NB OM, um, OMANAI, OMIUM just leaving HP

Boater "OMNIA!"

30 minutes later NB calls me

"YES NB AMMONIA, I CAN SEE YOU"

Boater "OMNIA!"

Gunthorpe, NB AMMONIA en route to you"

Boater "OMNIA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

NB ONOMATOPOEIA I CAN SEE YOUR APPROACH

Boater "OMNIA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!. ARE YOU ALL DEAF AND BLIND??"

How we laffed redface:


 lol: lol: lol:
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