Yes, he lives in the midst of ceaseless adversity!
But has no nuts. 
Most men don't. 
My first wife used to keep mine in her handbag ..... took me twenty years to regain custody!
You are Wayne Bobbitt. 
I will accept the ?5 via Paypal.
Listen Pal Your alter ego was the one that started that joke ~ remember ~ You've been paid!!!
SIBYL: "Basil! Have you done those jobs yet?"
BASIL: "Yesssss Dear I'm getting to it!"
SIBYL "You know what'll happen if you don't?"
BASIL (In Undertone) "You'll have to sew them back on first"