1. Barman does chimbley
2. Barman cleans interwebby pipe all weekend
3. Landlady gets back Monday with dangerous shoes
4. Snoopy has gone for a lie down
5. Growler is up a hill
It goes on
Grumpmeister is in a gutter somewhere, prolly
It's all falling apart.
Re your point 4.
How did you know that? I never said anything, just made myself an omelet (Mushrooms and black pudding since you were bound to ask) and having eaten it, closed my eyes for a few minutes.
Please re-direct your rays.
I have to collect Lil Bruv From Scallypool Airport at 5.30