Night on the Town

[Barman]

So just LL and I out on the town then. You blokes have no stamina in your old age! 

I'm just off up the pub now... 

[Nick]

I am chained to the oven

......and if I get me mitts on you, you'll be chained to the back bumper of a Land Rover Discovery on my next trip to the tip.

 

[Barman]

OK, who chucked-up then? 

[Bar Wench]

 

[Barman]

Oh dear oh dear... 

I managed to hold the fish 'n chips and gallons of London Pride down... plus topped it off with a pint of ESB for good luck.

Did you eat something that upset your tummy then?

[Bar Wench]

Think the lamb shank was rather dodgy. 

[Barman]

Think the lamb shank was rather dodgy. 

Ah... that would be it... 

[Nick]

I knew a seriously alcoholic bloke once. He was staying in someone's house and one morning emptied their drinks cabinet: vodka, whiskey, gin, creme de menthe, lager. The he "felt peckish" and ate a pork pie he found in the fridge.

Then he threw up.

"I think that pork pie was dodgy" he said, seriously.

[Barman]

I knew a seriously alcoholic bloke once. He was staying in someone's house and one morning emptied their drinks cabinet: vodka, whiskey, gin, creme de menthe, lager. The he "felt peckish" and ate a pork pie he found in the fridge.

Then he threw up.

"I think that pork pie was dodgy" he said, seriously.

If he was an alcoholic the food may well have been the problem! 

[Snoopy]

Think the lamb shank was rather dodgy. 

Lamb shank? ~ bet you paid a fortune for it .... cheapest cut on the whole animal .... until the Chefs made it fashionable butchers used to give it to little old ladies who wanted "a nice bone for the dog"
My Lil Bruv who is, as you know, a butcher tells me that he delights in seeing all the idiots in eateries that he serves paying up to £25 for a lamb shank that he is selling to the kitchens at about 50p. Biggest rip off since they made cheffy burgers fashionable at the Notting Grill. 

[Bar Wench]

£25 for three courses. Whitebait to start, lamb shank for mains, creme brulee for pudding. Bottle of wine, half bottle of bubbles, coffee. Total cost £40. Did not feel drunk, dire evening, girls bitched about husbands and men.

[Nick]

girls bitched about husbands and men.

Meanwhile the men were down the pub discussing poetry, no doubt. 

[tel]

£25 for three courses. Whitebait to start, lamb shank for mains, creme brulee for pudding. Bottle of wine, half bottle of bubbles, coffee. Total cost £40. Did not feel drunk, dire evening, girls bitched about husbands and men.

Normal night out then?

Oh well different people have different ideas about how to have fun.

[Bar Wench]

girls bitched about husbands and men.

Meanwhile the men were down the pub discussing poetry, no doubt. 

Nope. Mr Wench was travelling back from Wales, the husband was sitting home alone watching rugby, the boyfriend of another was who knows where.

Not a normal night at all!! Hence the not doing girls night again. 

[Snoopy]

£25 for three courses. Whitebait to start, lamb shank for mains, creme brulee for pudding. Bottle of wine, half bottle of bubbles, coffee. Total cost £40. Did not feel drunk, dire evening, girls bitched about husbands and men.

Whitebait is exactly that to an angler. You mean tiddlers that you can use to catch larger fish. Very cheap about £1 for two dozen in local tackle shop. Lamb Shank 50 pence wholesale + some steamed veg = another 50p tops. Creme Brulee = Egg custard ... (allow one egg per person + a teaspoon of sugar for glaze) .. costs about 5 pence. Cheap wine at £1.50 a bottle wholesale. Half bottle bubbles £3.00 top price if he bothers to stock half bottles Coffee + 5 pence a cup.
You were robbed.
But, if you had a nice time and can afford it, why not?