Banks - Job's Worth!

[tel]

Ever managed to go to the wrong funeral? Easily done, difficult to leg it once you are inside.

[Nick]

Ever managed to go to the wrong funeral? Easily done, difficult to leg it once you are inside.

A chap locally was over the limit and saw a police car closing on him and joined onto the end of a funeral procession to evade capture and went to the funeral and then to the wake.

He got pissed!¬

[Landlady]

All thought provoking stuff. One small point. Mrs Nick was talking about wills again the other day (the document not the prince!) and said we should get ours up to date "in case anything happens". I said "You mean, if I die". She said, "Well, yes actually."

So say it then!!

Her Mum does this too, "If anything happens to me the documents are in the top drawer of whatever. " You mean "When I die"?

Stop this silly euphemism!

Ostrich technique I think - lots of people do it. Perhaps thinking if its not said using that 'D' word it won't happen

Another one which sometimes annoys me and I do try to avoid using myself if talking about someone who has died in the term of 'losing them' - it's perhaps petty of me but it winds me up because it just sounds as though it was a careless mistake that happened.

Sometimes it is. For example, I recall my Aunty Nelly. We delivered her to the home and then .............


Oh, long story.

 

[Landlady]

Ever managed to go to the wrong funeral? Easily done, difficult to leg it once you are inside.

Okay - so HOW did you manage this 

[Landlady]

A chap locally was over the limit and saw a police car closing on him and joined onto the end of a funeral procession to evade capture and went to the funeral and then to the wake.

He got MORE pissed!¬

 

[Nick]

Ever managed to go to the wrong funeral? Easily done, difficult to leg it once you are inside.

Okay - so HOW did you manage this 

Easily done if you get the time wrong. All funerals are populated by people in hats and unfamiliar clothing. If rellies then you prolly haven't seen them for 20 years.

I once ended up at the wrong wedding FFS!

[Landlady]

Ever managed to go to the wrong funeral? Easily done, difficult to leg it once you are inside.

Okay - so HOW did you manage this 

Easily done if you get the time wrong. All funerals are populated by people in hats and unfamiliar clothing. If rellies then you prolly haven't seen them for 20 years.

I once ended up at the wrong wedding FFS!

Sounds as though you were the original idea behind the famous four weddings and a furneral epic 

[Uncle Mort]

I once ended up at the wrong wedding FFS!

Your's presumably, judging by the non-compatibility of you and Mrs Nick. 

[Nick]

What's a furneral? Sounds agricultural.

[Bar Wench]

All thought provoking stuff. One small point. Mrs Nick was talking about wills again the other day (the document not the prince!) and said we should get ours up to date "in case anything happens". I said "You mean, if I die". She said, "Well, yes actually."

So say it then!!

Her Mum does this too, "If anything happens to me the documents are in the top drawer of whatever. " You mean "When I die"?

Stop this silly euphemism!

Ostrich technique I think - lots of people do it. Perhaps thinking if its not said using that 'D' word it won't happen

Another one which sometimes annoys me and I do try to avoid using myself if talking about someone who has died in the term of 'losing them' - it's perhaps petty of me but it winds me up because it just sounds as though it was a careless mistake that happened.

Absolutely!!!

Our family has always been rather upfront about it. We all knew where the paperwork was, what the wishes were etc and this was even before my Dad got ill. Mr Wench's family on the other hand none of them discuss it. No one knows what to do if anything should happen to any of them.

[Nick]

I once ended up at the wrong wedding FFS!

Your's presumably, judging by the non-compatibility of you and Mrs Nick. 

I realised I had left that loophole open. Well done!

[tel]

Ever managed to go to the wrong funeral? Easily done, difficult to leg it once you are inside.

Okay - so HOW did you manage this 

There are several crematorium site and they are quite large sites around and it very easy for someone to tell that it's the E. Chapel when it is really the West or worse, give you wrong time. I have seen other people do it as well.

Then occasionally, you get the confirmed funeral goers - they turn up and if they see a sparsely attended funeral, they will tag along with it. Tends to happen more at interments though.

[Nick]

if anything should happen to any of them

like alien abduction?

Or DEATH

[Nick]

Ever managed to go to the wrong funeral? Easily done, difficult to leg it once you are inside.

Okay - so HOW did you manage this 

There are several crematorium site and they are quite large sites around and it very easy for someone to tell that it's the E. Chapel when it is really the West or worse, give you wrong time. I have seen other people do it as well.

Then occasionally, you get the confirmed funeral goers - they turn up and if they see a sparsely attended funeral, they will tag along with it. Tends to happen more at interments though.

Oh yes, that multiple chapel thingy is a bugger! I have usually been redirected, but Mortlake is so big!¬

[Bar Wench]

if anything should happen to any of them

like alien abduction?

Or DEATH

No for instance if they should be DNR, what methods of life support are acceptable and what aren't, what life saving techniques aren't you prepared to endure. In fact all the important questions are the ones that happen before you die.