Agony Corner

[Nick]

Do you?

[Bar Wench]

Do you?

PUT THE DAMN CIGARETTE OUT!!!!

[Bar Room Bore]

Thanks Uncle Nick.

Dot has gone to her whist afternoon. I am going to rehearse in front of the mirror

[Bar Room Bore]

Dot came back (she had forgotten something trivial). She caught me gesticulating. 

Oh, this seems good

 

[Bar Wench]

Take it all back BBB is clearly the choosen one. Follow the white rabbit!

[Darwins Selection]

Suddenly, colonic irrigation doesn't seem such a bad idea. 

[Bar Room Bore]

What does that involve Mr DS? I have a watering can, and Dot has a hose for the further reaches. Is it fun?

[Darwins Selection]

What does that involve Mr DS? I have a watering can, and Dot has a hose for the further reaches. Is it fun?

I am sure you would enjoy it.

[Berek]

 

[Bar Room Bore]

She is out for a while. I am working on it.

I promise


























 

I like that

[Misunderstood]

Dear Uncle Nick.

I have a problem.  I have a friend who has developed Paranoid Delusional Schizophrenia (or maybe multiple personality disorder) (or perhaps both) and I am worried that he is losing his marbles.

I had considered stalking him with my tank to try to re-establish his tenuous link with reality but fear that the authorities may consider this method a little overreaching.

Can you offer any ideas?

Yours adoringly

Bouncer (and Kitty)

[Nick]

This "friend" of yours (I am always a little suspicious when people talk about their "friend's" problems), can you be more specific. Multiple Personality Disorder is a worrying phenomenon, since you never know who you are talking to exactly. Do you regard your "friend's" problem as dangerous (e.g. going bonkers with a machine gun in Woolworth's or similar) or merely disturbing (who is it today?)

[Misunderstood]

This "friend" of yours (I am always a little suspicious when people talk about their "friend's" problems), can you be more specific. Multiple Personality Disorder is a worrying phenomenon, since you never know who you are talking to exactly. Do you regard your "friend's" problem as dangerous (e.g. going bonkers with a machine gun in Woolworth's or similar) or merely disturbing (who is it today?)

Oh No!  He's not dangerous (Well, the one's I've met aren't) I just worry in case it's catching.

[Nick]

MPD is not catching, unless someone rubs you hard, in which case MPD virions may transmit themselves through your skin and into your bloodstream. So do not allow your "friend" to rub you.

Fleas are far more dangerous!

NEXT!

[Pastis]

NEXT?

Ah, yes,

Dear Uncle Nick,

I am hoping that your expertise extends to problems in the kitchen. With the arrival of warmer temperatures comes that perennial problem of lettuce rust. I can't remember how I dealt with it last year - but that's a different dilemma.

I have tried abrading the leading edge of the leaf with some coarse grade emery cloth but can't get the purchase on it that one might hope for.

Is there some kind of rust-resistant primer or treatment that one can apply? The rust seems to come back ever so quickly