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Author Topic: Agony Corner  (Read 115800 times)

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Offline Nick

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Agony Corner
« on: May 11, 2007, 12:22:10 PM »
Do you have a problem? Lost your direction in life? Problems with the in laws or partners? Need some sound advice from a skilled and empathetic person? This is the place!!

Tell me all about it and I will tell you what to do!

However, we aren't here to witter pointlessly, so you are compelled on pain of smiting to act on my sound advice. No excuses.
« Last Edit: May 11, 2007, 02:16:06 PM by Nick »
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Offline Barman

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Re: Agony Corner
« Reply #1 on: May 11, 2007, 12:34:21 PM »
Quote from: Nick on May 11, 2007, 12:22:10 PM
Do you have a problem? Lost your direction in life? Problems with the in laws or partners? Need some sound advice from a skilled and empathetic person? This is the place!!

Tell me all about it and I will tell you what to do!
Like toothache and stuff?  noooo:

How ?bout personal, emotional and sexual problems like Claire Rainer used to do? Or that Dr. Devlin in ?She? magazine ? always worth a read that was?  whistle:
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Offline Nick

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Re: Agony Corner
« Reply #2 on: May 11, 2007, 12:37:04 PM »
Anything you like. Just tell me and I will solve it!



(It's a gift I have)
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Offline Bar Wench

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Re: Agony Corner
« Reply #3 on: May 11, 2007, 12:38:29 PM »
I'm addicted to message boards. Help me Uncle Nick. What should I do?
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Offline Nick

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Re: Agony Corner
« Reply #4 on: May 11, 2007, 12:39:45 PM »
Smash your computer with an axe. By the time you can afford another one the cravings will have passed and you will lead a normal and fruitful life, earn more money and spend more time talking to your extended family.
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Offline Bar Wench

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Re: Agony Corner
« Reply #5 on: May 11, 2007, 12:43:05 PM »
Quote from: Nick on May 11, 2007, 12:39:45 PM
Smash your computer with an axe. By the time you can afford another one the cravings will have passed and you will lead a normal and fruitful life, earn more money and spend more time talking to your extended family.

But I'd lose my job. And actually would spend less time talking to my Mother, although more time to Mr Wench.  rubschin:

I shall think about it.
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Offline Nick

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Re: Agony Corner
« Reply #6 on: May 11, 2007, 12:45:52 PM »
My advice is not for the faint hearted. Addictions to cigarettes or message boards can only be dealt with via drastic action.

Smash it now. And don't reply again. You are merely feeding your addiction! evil:
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Offline Bar Wench

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Re: Agony Corner
« Reply #7 on: May 11, 2007, 12:49:15 PM »
I can't disapear. Who else would you call when you needed help in the middle of the night.  eeek:

I am SUPER-MOD!
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Offline Nick

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Re: Agony Corner
« Reply #8 on: May 11, 2007, 12:52:30 PM »
Aversion therapy may help. A severe smiting from the collective customers and a new electrified mouse from

www.idon'twantoneofthose.com may be necessary.

If will power fails, pain and punishment often work

Or ask a friend to smash it with an axe.
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Berek

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Re: Agony Corner
« Reply #9 on: May 11, 2007, 01:05:53 PM »
My name is Berek and i'm an alcoholic...hic eyes:
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Offline Barman

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Re: Agony Corner
« Reply #10 on: May 11, 2007, 01:06:49 PM »
Dear Dr. Nick,

I have an aversion to tidying-up and housework in general.

What can I do?

Barman
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Offline Nick

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Re: Agony Corner
« Reply #11 on: May 11, 2007, 01:07:57 PM »
Quote from: Berek on May 11, 2007, 01:05:53 PM
My name is Berek and i'm an alcoholic...hic eyes:

Carry on as you are. You are in the pub after all. Have another 4 pints of Bishop's Finger and you will stop worrying.
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Offline Nick

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Re: Agony Corner
« Reply #12 on: May 11, 2007, 01:08:25 PM »
Quote from: Barman on May 11, 2007, 01:06:49 PM
Dear Dr. Nick,

I have an aversion to tidying-up and housework in general.

What can I do?

Barman

Employ a Filipino lady to do it for you

If you can't afford this (they don't cost much) consider staging a house fire, claim on the insurance and start afresh
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Offline Barman

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Re: Agony Corner
« Reply #13 on: May 11, 2007, 01:10:24 PM »
Quote from: Nick on May 11, 2007, 01:08:25 PM
Quote from: Barman on May 11, 2007, 01:06:49 PM
Dear Dr. Nick,

I have an aversion to tidying-up and housework in general.

What can I do?

Barman

Employ a Filipino lady to do it for you
Sage words - and the housework?  whistle:
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Berek

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Re: Agony Corner
« Reply #14 on: May 11, 2007, 01:10:57 PM »
Quote from: Nick on May 11, 2007, 01:08:25 PM
Quote from: Barman on May 11, 2007, 01:06:49 PM
Dear Dr. Nick,

I have an aversion to tidying-up and housework in general.

What can I do?

Barman

Employ a Filipino lady to do it for you



 eyes:
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